i do wonder if i have truly changed. i dont like things i used to like anymore, i dont mind doing something i used to dislike before. while i know im still the same person.
ive been so occupied with things lately, too many. yet i still do feel calm and content. im tired and whined once in a while, but thats it, no more further complaining. i do know God is with me every step of the way, i just need to put my trust in Him.
He promised me once, years ago. this one specific thing i came across randomly from browsing the net *yes, He is online too, you know :p* which may not make sense to anyone else except me. a very personal, direct message i will never forget. as things have fallen apart, this promise helped me to keep going, to keep praying, to keep hoping. while i can also feel that the world is trying to pull me back down, trying to slip around my way, setting his little delusive traps on my path. man, im not going back.
i have decided to follow Jesus
.
it wont be easy. it wont. i would still fall here and there, sin. but there s this little voice keep telling me e-ve-ry time i would do something bad, that i cant just ignore. and im sure its not my conscience cause she's bit psychotic at times, i dont trust her hundred percent. which then led me to a little conclusion, that it must be You, God (:
im embracing life now. sweet and bitter taste of it. i cease them all.
cause one more thing, i know im still not done with;
the lesson of love.
x
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