inevitable journey of life

So I have been staring at my room's wall for quite a while. Nothing, there is not a single thing there, just a plain white wall. I was trying to see and understand life. I can't find the answer on my wall.

I am a curious person. I don't actually talk that much but I do ask a lot of questions, especially to the ones I know for a long time. I tend to be annoying in this matter.

I always want an answer. A definite one, or at least some reasonings of this and that so I can stop thinking about those questions in my head.

I do question my faith too sometimes, eventhough as much as I know in the very core of my heart I am a changed person. I accepted Jesus Christ in my life as my Lord and my Savior and fully believe in His wonderful works in my life, yet I, admittedly questioning Him a lot still. Is this worth it? Does He really want me to do this or I just have to simply wait? I get biased sometimes. This happen occasionally when I am alone in the dark (literally) and then get to ponder these silly questions.

Why do I think this much, I once asked. Why cant I be someone who is content and be happy with whatever things I have known (well though maybe I would still be liking the How-to-s and whatever DIY), but you know, prolly a simpler person -- wait, that is not who I am right? There should be a further purpose why I am created in such way.

God always works in such an awesome wonder and little miracles in life. He works in a very mysterious way that threads through our mundane daily activities, people we met, books we read, things we see and the best one is when He Himself reveals His secrets to us through His words, in our hearts.

One revelation I have gotten recently was this;

It is never about how well our life is, it is about how we respond to every situation, that determines how true our faith is as Christ-followers.

That was a quite relief for me.

I asked a lot of questions to God, why this? why that? why did I? why didn't I? what do I do now? what is next? Simply because sometimes I unconsciously think that, when my life does not sorted as I expected, I got to fix it.

I can't fix lives, come on.

Only He can.

But I can change the way I respond to every situations that build life itself.

Rather than questioning and over-analysing every single details in my life, isn't it better to actually know His person, His heart, His love, then I would not have to question Him about everything. Cause I know He's good no matter what.

And it is safe to say that, the best way to travel in this journey of life, is to have it with Christ. Cause no matter how bumpy the road is, how roller-coaster-y our lives are, we got to grip on the One who's unshakeable, the one who saves, the one who makes every steps of the way worthwhile.

And for that, I love You.
x