But Jesus said, “No, go home to your family, and tell them everything the Lord has done for you and how merciful he has been.” (Mark 5:19 -- The story of Demon-possesed Man)
ok, that struck me.
i was sitting in church this morning, shivered under april's scarf cause the aircon was too high, cold, as most of the time, when that passage opened my eyes real wide and i get to see everything more clearly.
the sermon was about the heart of mission, where we should have it first before stepping out to the crowds and tell people about Jesus. and how we sometimes overlook our closest surroundings to tell them about Jesus too. aren't we supposed to be the light wherever we go? and how do people know Jesus if we, who are already be saved, who has experienced His goodness, who had felt His deep love for us, never tell others about Jesus?
we, human, have been created with free will. we dream about big things, as we are told to. we want to be involved in large-scale things, great movement, grand plans! we said, that we want to be with Jesus every step of the way!
the demon-possesed man in Gerasene felt that too. after God set him free from demons, he asked Jesus if he can follow Him, he saw Jesus has done this huge miracles for his life. but Jesus said, no, instead, He told him to go back to his family and tell his family everything Jesus has done for him and how merciful Jesus has been!
wait, Jesus said no?
He did, because He wanted to send him for a mission, and first, for his family, for people in his home, in his city, in his circle.. for him to tell them: his story.
--
this is my story:
about 4 years ago, this was the biggest struggling in my life; i had to find a way to obtain a permanent residency in Australia. i had lived there for 5 years, and liking it. i enjoyed my college and university time, did explored many things, met so many friends and found the best coffee (and brunch) in the world! Melbourne was heaven.
that time i knew, my visa would run out soon. i was still working in a cafe, not any closer of getting a full-time job and i completely have no idea how i would sort this matter out :(
i prayed and prayed for many times, browsing though extensive list of texts on the net, trying to find that loop hole, a slightest chance for me to be able to stay in Melbourne. i consulted with couple of friends and i insisted on how i really do not want to go back to Indonesia, moreover Surabaya.
it is undeniably true, that i got serious with God in Melbourne. i have learnt so much about Him and His personality through many things and even experiencing myself His gracious love to me and tonnes of other stories i can't write them all in one go. so, yeah, it was hard for me to leave Melbourne.
but living in Melbourne was not God's plan for me.
He said no.
i was struggling for months, and i know my prayer changed through out those times. from 'please let me stay here' to 'give me some signs' to 'give me a heart for indonesia' and i tell ya now, He DOES ANSWER all of that -- clearest than what i was expected.
He gave me a new perspective in seeing things -- new eyes to see things i could never see before. a new goal, a new purpose, a new vision.
yes, here i am. never been more glad, to be living in Surabaya, Indonesia. it has been almost 2 years - not without struggles. i am still trying to figure things out. i am back to lesson #1 in many things -- they are truly a humbling experience i must say.
but the thing is, i never felt that i am loving this country as much as i am before. Jesus shares His compassion for Indonesia with me (whaaattt!), and i never feel so broken-hearted seeing this country being so faraway from God. i believe that this is the work of Holy Spirit in my heart, cause it seemed very impossible to me. love this country, love your home town, love your people, that's how you love Me! He would say!
and surely one of them is to tell my parents about Jesus, how gracious and merciful He has been in my life. maybe not so literal, maybe i still not be able to tell them straight to their faces, but i hope my life could be a living testimony for them. because that's what i really long for them to know Jesus too.. how gracious and how merciful He is..
so, with all might, all heart, i humbly pray, that You keep continually working through me, o Holy Spirit! You are God every where, every time.
i know You're still writing my stories here, and they are to be shared (:
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