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helo! these days are those days where i just throw myself to bed in seconds or times when i found myself constantly thinking over the night that drives me crazy. weeks pass quickly and i have been doing lots of things. but somehow, i am a bit concerned that i may miss something far more important than these.

i have been trying to figure out what i might have missed during this time, or maybe not now, but i am afraid i would not realise it til it's gone, til it's too late. i have been complaining less with how things work surrounds me. i started to figure out this 'mastery' everyone has here. i learnt what to mention what is not to mention to others simply just because they won't have time for my rambling, except to some other people i might have slipped on too much words - sorry guys.

one thing keeps lingering still in my mind, of what pop told me casually in one dinner occasion. he actually referred to one of the Bible verse, paraphrased, like this: "God will not give you challenges / temptations harder than what you can take; if He gave you the hard one, He will definitely provide you a way out". i came out to such an amazement of how he speaks such thing cause he is no believer and he lifted up my heart instantly just by saying that. i came out to think, God, i know you are still at work in my family!

we went home and i rushed to my room to look for that verse once again in the Bible. i knew i heard it so many times and remembered it by heart, but it struck me hard that night.

it was from 1 Cor 10:13

"No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it".


God is faithful.

how i forgot that too easily. (plus i cried a little inside cause how pop misses this part :*< )
i have been blaming many other things in response to my perception of my mundane and stagnant life, and i always failed to see how He remains faithful in any circumstances of my life. and moreover, He has the power to turn my life around!

i don't know try to be over-melancholic when talking about God. i can't help it - He touches the deepest of my heart and how can i supposed to react to that? it gets me sentimental.

a little note tho, faith is not merely about feelings - not something that gets you cry or jumps out for joy every single time. it is when you are fully convicted in yourself and your character and attitude changed to be Christ-like's.

i do not know what i might have missed out in the past times. i have lost and i have gained. and i could have lost many great things of this world, many. what i am sure of though, i do not want to miss out His presence in my life. those little things He speaks to me through people, through problems, through blessings, through hard times, through good times - and knowing He is faithful always in my life.

i am not giving up yet, Daddy.