pulau kapur

so good!

He is never-changing.
melb/indo -- You are with me.
thank you for everything!

you know who you are

"me kamu nggilani.."
pasang tampang -.-

"ikh iya toh. makak e jadi orang harus seng disiplin"
*mendengarkan*

"gw lupa kalo ellen itu lebih tertarik sama benda mati daripada cowo"
...............

"L lo jelek banget sih hari ini"
iya gw tau

"norak"
emang!

"high five, neighbour!"
*high five*

*tatapan menuduh mengira gw bakal merampas barang miliknya*
ih apa seh?!

"no, those things are too cool for them. they need smth less cool. theyre not as cool as us"
haha yeaaaaa mister!

"len ayooo!!"
sek sek tunggu hapeku mana

"library?"
nope, lab

"eh len ada gosip2 apa ga?"
hmm apa ya? aoahohao

"omg could you pls stop doing that?"
err.. no

"len lo hari ini cakepan deh pake baju itu"
mau ape lo dr gw?

"udah, gpl aja..." *typing that cheesy emoticon*
ih ogah!

"ellen ini aneh kok"
apa seh jup mosok aku makan akeh ngga boleh? :x

"len, everything is gonna be alright"
YES DADDY, YES (:

in the middle of

menahan perut laper
menulis 09 reflectiong
menunggu aran
menghias rumah
mensyukuri berkat Tuhan taon 09


:3

lucu ya kalo rumahnya kayak gini :3

and then He said

Lord, im hopeless.
ellen needs You.

jamie is back!

check this out (:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU3I8R5t5T8&feature=fvw

dear carlton 1+4

im not giving you up, lovelies.

you are my dearest family, whom my Lord Jesus Christ gave to me.
i will always bring your names in my prayers and speak blessings for you.
thank you God, for each one of you. may His truth will always guide each one of you and Jesus Christ Himself be the Lord in your lives.
love you all brothers and sisters <3

:)

laura loops made my day.

Bapa kami yang di surga
dikuduskanlah namaMu
datanglah kerajaanMu
jadilah kehendakMu
di bumi seperti di surga
Berikanlah kami hari ini makanan kami yang secukupnya
Dan ampunilah kami atas kesalahan kami
seperti kami mengampuni orang yang bersalah kepada kami
Dan janganlah membawa kami ke dalam pencobaan
tetapi lepaskanlah kami dari yang jahat
Sebab engkaulah yang punya Kerajaan
dan kuasa
dan kemuliaan
sampai selama-lamanya
Amen.

for a friend

its never wrong to 'sayang' ppl anyway (:

banyak mau

aku mau ke taman dimana ada bunga-bunga kuning kecil. terus bawa jug isi jus buah dingin. tidur di bawah pohon liat ke langit. bergulung-gulung ria di rumput. terus bawa sketch pad dan mulai menggambar. menggambar kucing, menggambar bunga, menggambar ikan, atau menggambar monster kecil lucu.

aku mau ke tepi pantai main di pasir. atau aku mau naek sepeda keliling tepian. aku mau maen ombak sedikit2 tanpa harus ke tengah laut. aku mau duduk deket laut dan merenung. terus aku mau cari pak tukang ice cream dan makan rasa vanila nya.

aku mau duduk saja di rumah. menggambar pake cat air dan pensil warna. sambil mendengarkan lagu instrumen jazz. sambil mendengarkan suara tram atau train lewat, suara orang ngomong. sambil ada sinar matahari pagi.

aku mau kamera polaroid. aku mau jalan-jalan ke tempat-tempat yang aku ngga pernah pergi. aku mau liat dunia dari kacamata explorer, bukan turis. terus aku mau beli sparkling water di sana. rasa arancia rossa.

aku mau jalan-jalan keliling indonesia. aku ingin masuk desa-desa dan hutan. aku mau maen di sungai dan nangkep ikan. tapi aku ngga mau ketemu kodok. gimana ini? aku mau makan di atas daun pisang, makan ikan bakar atau kangkung atau apapun. aku mau naik kereta api dan kepanasan.

aku mau bikinin rumah kayu buat devon. aku mau masang dan ngecat kayunya sendiri. aku mau bikinin dia bantal tidur yang empuk, sama selimut buat main-main. aku mau beliin dia boneka buat temen main. aku mau peluk-peluk devon.

aku mau ke canada atau hungaria dimana aku bisa liat aurora dengan mata kepala sendiri. aku mau duduk deket perapian sambil liat aurora semaleman. Tuhan itu hebat banget bikin aurora yang cantik banget.

aku ingin ke menado aku ingin menyelam di bunaken. tapi aku nggak bisa renang. hiks.

aku mau main ke rumah mayu dan kita akan bikin barang-barang lucu yang belum tentu ada gunanya. tapi kita akan senang. mungkin perlu sambil makan pudding almond juga.

aku banyak maunya.

sorry, im not in the mainstream

i am, si gembel.

cause the heart of life is You

despite my excitement that uni will be finished today, i am still not over to thank God for all things He has done in my life. its not me, but Christ who lives in me! Jesus is in control!

*still cant believe that i spent my day before final without the all-nighters, i slept well :''')*

okay here's to start..
the week was though. ive been dragging myself away from my bed every single morning and off to workshop until its closed *ard 5 probably?* physical and more physical work to do every single day. weather was pretty too last week, sadly i could only taste it maybe for one hour per day? anyhow anyhow, beyond of of those madness happened in workshop, my model was going pretty alright. even on thursday the whole set was kinda finished. yet i felt so anxious about it, you know, that sort of silent panic moment you have in your self, which the brain could not work out the reason. when you know everything is going to be alright but you still cant calm yourself down. friday was still hectic, been lost in hawthorn in the morning. thanks to richard for saving me from my stupidity. and was busy also later on during midday, i cut and heavily sanded a piece of foam whose the dust i hate the most. they are really fine and going straight to your lungs. my day then was closed by attending 'fa gabungan' at church. and straight away when we started the service, i really felt a deep feeling in my heart. i could not explain how, but its when you know that you are longing for something very much, something maybe in the bottom pit of your heart that cries out. i miss God. at one point, i was thinking like, God i want nothing else in this world, no one else, i just like to be here, to be close to You. the sentimental moment came straight to me since i was upstairs too all by myself. God i miss You so much <3

saturday was busy too. i ran back to city halfway through the prayer meeting for inspection. i found this cute little apartment ard city and look forward to move there soon (: it seems like yesterday, i was panicking too finding a place to move out. but i will do it right this time, I know God prepares.

as sunday goes by, my heart is filled with joy, a new hope, love from God to keep me going on. and beach was AWESOME! the most random trip ever! ellen was going to the beach and chilling a day before her final. her uni friends probably willing to kill her.



but yes, thank God again for everything. nothing was my achievement. ellen being organised is completely impossible without You God. its not ellen, its You who works through me. i really do understand know, that when you put God first, He will bless you more than you are expected. and you wont ever think that all your success is your own victory, its His (:

thank you too for the loveliest people!
to be mentioned: ko ricky, jasmine, benji, paul, peter, pang, stephanie, mum&dad, kakak.
TERIMAKASIH BANYAK! :D :D

dan buat yang masih berjuang, selamat berjuang!

spring

beware of love bugs!
not lalat aohaohaohaohaoa

maen yuk!

teman-teman, maen yuk!
hahoahoahohaoa


habis assessment ya ya ya! :D

no no no, super-ellen doesnt exist.

not done yet papa

i do make lots of troubles in the workshop :x

seminggu lagi

at least uda selese satu.

mau nyerah tengah jalan percuma,
tanggung,
encok ngantuk lapar otot, saya datang.

misi berikut: method HARUS kelar weekend ini.
FOLIO harus dimulai weekend ini.
pannacotta mangga harus DIBUAT weekend ini.


ayo el.
ayo len.
ayo.


ps. tadi saya melihat salmon. hahaha.

kata2 devon

devon aja bilang:
"gua kalo dipaksa gua malah nggak mau"

LOL

padahal ngga mandi

when there are too many things happening at the same time,
when the future seems vague,
when you feel like your head is going to explode soon,
when you want to run away and hide from everything,
when you feel there is no way out,


when all earthly things have left you dry,
made you sick,

run to Jesus,
call out His name,

and He'll be there (:
as He always be.



and hello funny face!
pengen otak2 ikan bakar. mama saya ingin pulang!

kyah

ellen mau bunga kuning saja.
ngga banyak banyak, Tuhan.

11.44

in most of the time when you are alone, you realise that He is the only one you need.
nothing else.
no one else.

it is the heart that matters the most.

saya mau sprrringgg please!

above all

apa seh hal yang paling paling penting dalam hidup sebenernya?
gw dulu mikirnya, yang penting gw hidupnya engga susah, lulus skolah, kerja, punya suami ganteng baik hati dan ngga sombong, terus punya rumah bagus dan senaaang!


tapi semakin gw tua, semakin gw belajar dewasa.
ternyata bukan itu..

hidup gw klo gampang terus gw bakalan jadi males, klo sekolah itu gampang gw ga akan pernah belajar, klo cari duid itu gampang gw ga perlu kerja berat2, klo suami gw ganteng dia kalo udah tua juga bakal keriput anyway, rumah bagus klo berantakan kayak apartemen gw sekarang ya jadi jelek, klo gw senang terus pasti gw nyebelin hyahyahyahyaaa.

bikin gw seneng itu gampang banget, beliin kopi dan sepotong cookie d hari cerah dan duduk d rumput ijo. gw udah seneng. tapi apa hidup gw isinya gitu2 doank? membuat diri sendiri ga bete itu yang susah, gw hati ini uda ada yang ngeganjel rasanya mau apa2 ngga enak, makan ngga abis, coklat pun sama sekali ngga membantu, tidur juga percuma. di tengah kesibukan yang gw alamin skr ini, gw pengen belajar sesuatu lebih kali ini. gw ngga mau cuman gini2 doank, masak uda 22 taon hidup isinya cuman maenan ato excuse yang salah, belajar mati2an di uni demi degree. weits.

gw itu punya love-hate relationship sama course gw. kadang2 gw bisa suka banget, kadang2 gw pengen k middle earth aja k shire buat ngumpet dari semua lecturer2 itu. sekarang week 10, dulu, yah taon lalu la, ini adalah saat2 gw ngga mau diganggu dan gw bs teriak2 sama lo orang *dalem hati doank* klo ada yg coba2 minta waktu gw. tugas uda mefet, sana sini ribut, belom lagi doodads gw yg banyaknya setengah mati. tapi apakah hal ini harus terulang tiap semester? tidak please, jangan.

semester ini gw berjanji, gw akan memanage waktu sebaik mungkin, bekerja semaksimal mungkin, tapi tidak segila biasanya. dan gw bener2 cuman melongo pas gw nyadar, im doing fine. im doing alright. dan bahkan gw boleh bilang, banyak hal2 dan hasil2 unexpected yg gw terima. gw ampe bener2 gatau mesti ngmg apa. weits, bukan berarti semuanya gampang buat gw. gw masih bertahan melekin mata gw mantengin layar monitor di library soalnya banyak org laen yg juga mau pake komputer, dan berusaha membaca dan mengerti dan menulis. yah, gw gak suka baca, gak suka nulis, but see what im doing now? gw membaca dan menulis! woo.

dan terlebih dari semua nya itu, semuanya itu bawa hikmah buat gw sendiri. gw jadi lebih bs surrender ama Tuhan. gw ga bs bilang klo itu bukan dr Dia, kayak hallloooo.. semuanya itu jelas2 gw ga bisa lakuin. ellen seumprit gini, mana bisa Tuhan.. dampak baik dari kelas method yg isinya baca tulis tadi, gw jadi lebih gampang baca alkitab juga. hore. menulis? nulis itu sama kayak ngmg kan? gw ngmg lebih jelas dan ga ngalor ngidul.. walaupun masih aneh...... jadi gw berkesimpulan, Tuhan itu bs ngajar kita d manapun. lewat sekolah lewat temen2 lewat pengalaman, intinya apa kitanya mau apa engga belajar. dan balik lagi sama yang paling penting, gw mao tetep deket sama Tuhan, gw ngga mau kemana2... You are waaay too good to me! :')

gw ngga mao lagi jatuh terlalu dalem, gw ngga mau lagi ego gw terbang terlalu tinggi.

apa gunanya jadi orang pinter tapi ngga punya hati, apa gunanya jadi tajir tapi sombong, apa gunanya gaul tapi ngga punya temen, apa gunanya punya kerjaan bagus tapi jadi orang nyebelin, apa gunanya semuanya klo Tuhan ngga sama aku?

orang paling aneh sedunia

apa pada dasarnya semua orang itu aneh, cuman keanehannya beda2 dan pas orang yang aneh nya ketemu sama orang yang anehnya sama mereka merasa ngga aneh lagi tapi kalo ketemu sama orang yang aneh nya beda mereka merasa salah satu dari mereka aneh?

who am i that You care so much for me?

walah weleh

entah perlu brapa lama gw belajar kenal diri sendiri.... tsk tsk..

saat harus memilih

i dont know what it takes to be a designer.
otak diperes, fisik diperes, mental apalagi..

butuh satu jam setengah buat balikin semangat gw bikin gelondongan cardboard lagi yang benernya 20 menit selesai. yaila len...
oke 347!

makasih Tuhan (:

who am I without You?

buku ketelisut

the more i know You,
the more i know how vulnerable i am.
yet the more i know You,
the more i understand how i desperately need You in my life.
so that i can keep going on,
so that i can stand up when i fall,
so that i can overcome my fears.

just because You have loved me so much.

this morning, at 10.15, i woke up and thought. noooo its ten already. trust me i wake up early these days, 9.30 is the latest hahaaha. i was goin to run to uni to return some books and do some works for methods, then i realised that i couldnt find another 2 books i borrowed from the library and i couldnt remember where i put them. and theyre due today. so anyway, i didnt find them, i went to uni still, for returning some other books. i grabbed a computer and sat myself down. hmm okay, i do what now???? i couldnt think at all and, yes, my morning was ruined because i lost the books. sounded silly i know.

so then i went home, okay ellen you need to clear up your mind. and i began to do some cleaning in my super messy unit and............. found those books beneath a pile of dirty laundry.. stupid.

then i wonder why my heart is a very fragile thing. books can hurt me? whattt?
and beyond that incident i know i will still face another-ones. so i spoke to God, Lord really, i cant do this without You, i need You so that i can live joyfully, i can have peace in my heart, i wouldnt treasure artificial things so badly..

and yes, i also lost my jacket last sunday too. but anyway, it doesnt matter anymore. things in this world come and go so quickly, but i know what i am holding on to at the moment, i will have Him forever (:

kangen masa2 budu sama kalian hohoh

hapobedebabo

day 37

what has God taught me from failure?
what has God taught me from a lack of money?
what has God taught me from pain/ sorrow/ depression?
what has God taught me through waiting?
what has God taught me through illness?
what has God taught me from disappointment?
what have I learned from my family, my church, my relationships, my small group and my critics?

gagal bukan akir dari segalanya. artinya gw perna buat salah ato Tuhan mao gw belajar lagi. Tuhan selalu cukupin hidup gw. walopun ga kaya2 amat yg penting bahagia. duid bole sedikit yg penting tetep ada sukacita dalem hati. namanya bukan manusia klo ngga perna setres ato sakit hati ato depresi, cuman ga bole lama2, gw harus bangkit balik dan move on. dan klo ga perna ngerasain sakit, ngga tau dong gw sama yg namanya disembuhkan? ellen ga bole buru2, Tuhan mao gw sabar dan nyerahin semuanya sama waktunya Tuhan. waktu kita nunggu, kita diajarin tekun sama Tuhan. ngga perna ada manusia yg bs adapt sama yg namanya sakit, klo sakit ya uda sakit. makanya mumpung sehat, gw mesti lakuin apa yg Tuhan mau gw lakuin *inget2 tragedi rakus taon 2008* dan klo sakit, baik tubuh maupun jiwa, itu berarti kesempatan Tuhan tunjukin yg namanya pemulihan dari Dia. gw ga bole ngarep banyak sama manusia, soalnya sebaek apapun orang sama gw, manusia tetep bikin kecewa. makanya gw mao liat k Tuhan aja terus soalnya Dia satu2nya yg ga perna ngecewain gw. dan klo uda kecewa ya uda maafin aja, jgn dibawa dendem lama2, ntar cape sendiri. i really thank God for my family, temen2 dan gereja Tuhan nempatin gw. mereka itu pensil warna buat hidup gw. gw bersyukur banget buat acceptance dr mereka buat gw yg cukup aneh ini. hahaha. terutama buat Tuhan yg mao anggep gw anakNya, Tuhan, ellen seuprit gini masi jaoh dr perfect dan banyak jelek2nya. mohon kritikan dan bimbinganNya, Tuhan..

sebelum tidoor

ellen ngga pernah sendiri kok.
Tuhan selalu sama aku :D

the dreamer

i was 19.

i was dreaming.
and now i am still.

this is a crime

found this in one of my friend's photos in fb.
huuuu
this is mean! >:|

lol.

because i cant

because i cant do this by myself Lord. i need You.

plis lah len, nyantai~

klo ditanya siapa orang yang paling keterlaluan d dunia, jawabannya adalah: gua. temen2 gw pasti setuju klo gw bilang gw adalah satu dari orang2 aneh yang pernah mereka kenal.

setelah 'bertapa' d library selama hari berturut2, gw merasa belum cukup. masih pengen balik sana lagi dan bikin peer. kadang2 pengen ngegampar diri sendiri. hahahah. hari ini pun gw ada rencana mao kerja tugas k sana lagi, sampe beberapa menit lalu, lecturer gw sendiri bilang, len ini masih DRAFT. mala gw dsuru santai2 aja. gw sampe melongo.. bener ya orang2 kayak gw ini gak tau apa yang namanya menikmati hidup?

hari ini lagi, matahari uda senyum2 cerah ceria. i cudnt resist to not going out. kopi rumput matahari =3

sedikit insight dr fa kemaren, sama ko sandi diingetin terus klo hidup itu journey. tiap tiap hari kita harus belajar yang namanya ngeliat Tuhan. memang engga gampang tapi bukan berarti kita diem2an aja terus ngga usaha sama sekali. terus gara2 ini, gw setiap saat diingetin lagi klo Tuhan itu peduli sama apa yang gw alamin sehari2, He cares so much, more than i could ever imagine. jadi seperti minggu2 sebelumnya, mendingan gw lakuin apa yang jadi bagian gw, dan Tuhan pasti bantu kerjain. ellen ngga boleh kawatir.

oh btw fian, klo elo baca2 blog ini. kaga apa2 kok. gw bukan artis dan ini bukan diary. hahaha. hidup gw terlalu jelek klo dibilang mau dieksklusifkan. gw cuman mau bikin documentary buat diri sendiri untuk dibaca d kemudian hari, biar gw tau betapa gebleknya gw dan mengantisipasi biar ngga geblek lagi. hehehe.

okayy ellen, lets start today with thanksgiving in your heart because you know that He is the one who always stay beside you. He is always there.

:D

oh ini toh gunanya buku...

emang gak selamanya yang gak mungkin itu gak mungkin.

ellen mulai gemar membaca.. hahaha
gara2 method, mau gak mau deh. hore!

do your best.

in every matter you do,







do your best (:

ihik ihik :D

didnt I tell you that youre gonna be okay? (:
Your grace is enough every morning!

dah ah, ngantuk.

ps. i read this again this morning and realised that some bits are pretty 'nggak jelas',
but anyway, its my own lil note, i ll remember what i meant :p

i know who holds tomorrow

gw rencana susun portfolio. soon.
uni tinggal 3 semester lagi dan gw gak tau mesti ngapaen sehabis itu.. sekolah lagi? mungkin nggak dulu, pengen kerja.... apa mending kawin, beli mesin jait trus jadi ibu rumah tangga aja? hahahaha.. jaitin baju lucu2 buat anak terus ngajarin dia menggambar dan mewarna. tapi cita2 gua kan jadi industrial designer?

ga lah len, mending kerjain method dulu, studio sama projection okaaaaay! :3

babehhh

filosofi hidup gua sih,
jangan bikin yang susah jadi semakin susah.

renungan kecil

what was the biggest problem uve ever faced when u were in middle school?
for me, it was my 'secret boyfriend' whom last for only a week because i was to afraid that my dad would know us. i was 13.

few years later in high school, i was afraid of failing my classes since i was so dumb in maths and chem and i need to get at least 75 to be able to go to the next class. i remember sitting on the floor in front of my class with one of my mate, we both were depressed, waiting for our mums getting our results that morning. then he told me, worse come to worse, he might end up being in the same class with his girlfriend who was in the lower grade, what a big problem we were facinggg! 0_0 well, we made it thru. i was 16.

after i graduated from highschool, my dad offered me if i wanted to go melbourne for uni with my sister. i said, id love to. the challenges were the ielts test and my 'another-secret-boyfriend' whom i was going to leave. it was almost a year of relationship, then we broke up. i was 18.

speak english or die, my sister said. i tried my best pushing myself hard to adapt my tounge speaking in this *i wudnt say bogan style* australian accent english, cause i want to survive here. more obstacles and challenges came after. and you realised that things are getting serious while ure getting older *because you know more things*. note: im not saying here that my life is boring, dark and very gloomy down here. haha.


bad things may happen to you and drive you crazy. you can put that fake smile in your face and tell everyone that you re alright. its fine. but the most important matter is how you manage yourself to go through it *and learn from it (:

as it says in the book of ecclesiastes..
¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:

² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,

³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,

⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,

⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,

⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,

⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

⁹ What does the worker gain from his toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on men. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. ¹³ That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. ¹⁴ I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him.
Ecc 3: 1-14

so, when you re happy, just be reeeaaally happy.
but when you sad, dont be too sad :D

what

do people actually want seh??

ans: to be loved.

yayyy!

i am speechless.

God is great beyond everything! (:

ya ya i keep my promise to finish this entry. it started few weeks ago. no, actually, a month ago. uni was extremely hectic and i was longing for a holiday with my plan: doing whatever i want to do. but, as usual, things didnt go with my expectation. i finished uni at 10th of june, and guess when did my holiday start? 1st of july. i promised my part-time-job boss to work full-time for a week since she was going to singapore for holiday. unfortunately, yes very unfortunate to hear that my boss' daughter diagnosed with swine flu when they arrived there. and what else could be happened except weeks of quarantine in hospital and home *in singapore*. so, i passed my days waking up at 5.30am when the sun hasnt come yet and my sister is still asleep. well, i finished at 2 tho, which is not too bad, i thought. until by body said that it couldnt cope with the workload anymore. i fell sick. i woke up with 'encok' at my birth-day, a sign of ageing maybe *sigh*. and i took 2 more days off cause i was still sick.

thank God, i could finally go to wintercamp on wednesday eventho i had to go home earlier from work on tuesday since i was still coughing and sneezing like crazy *not as crazy as people who lined up for tattslotto that day tho :p* ya, so i went, with no expectation. i prayed to God before i got into the bus "Tuhann, ellen jangan mabok yaa.. nanti tambah sakit.." and He heard that silly prayer of mine (:

maybe my body was too weak, i admitted that i fell asleep for few minutes in some sessions *proven by my ugly handwriting on the booklet :p* but, each sessions opened up my mind and gave me a new perspective to see this life. and the presence God Himself was really there. i talked to Him "Tuhan, ellen nggak mau sia2 dateng k sini, udah sakit pula, Tuhan yang kuatin yaa" it wasnt about how much tears i shed and the manifestation i experienced but it was all about how i feel God and i believe Him wholeheartedly that He is real. He lifted up all my burden, all of those little wanderings i kept myself. He showed me that He cares (:

and more than that, He filled my heart with love and joy! Lord, if its not from You, how can i love and care others? i might find people are dissapointing, and they never seem to understand me, but hey ellen, would you let those problems taking the joy of the Lord away from your heart?

the wintercamp is over, i got back to the reality living in melbourne cbd as i got the signal back to my mobile. reality came in. and yes, things do go wrong. but we believe that our God have a beautiful plan for our life eh?

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" - Jeremiah 29:11


You've walked with me thru the mountains,
and You were also there when i was in the valleys.
i want to keep You with me forever (:

(':

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
Vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love and watch me rise again
Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

Who am I - Casting Crowns

popon i miss youuuu!

thank you-s

i,

thank you God for this life
thank you God for the great dad and the loving mum
thank you God for the geek brother and the nerd sister :p
thank you God for the cute clever pet
thank you God for the faithful best friends
thank you God for the carlton 1+4
thank you God for the good health
thank you God for the opportunity to be here
thank you God for the uni
thank you God for the part time job
thank you God for the sunny days
thank you God for the dark gloomy days
thank you God for the smiley faces
thank you God for the tears
thank you God for the old friends
thank you God for the new friends
thank you God for the delicious food
thank you God for the privilege to serve You
thank you God for the good coffees
thank you God for the bad times
thank you God for the good times
thank you God for being with me (:

is this the kind of life i want?

life's been hectic.

sehabis diperbudak uni selama berminggu2 penuh sama yang namanya engga tidur, V cans, susu, roti, teh, serbuk2 kayu, laptop, spray paint, dan urusan sana sini, ternyata tugas gw belum selesai....

janji gw ke boss buat kerja seminggu penuh dr jem 6-2 harus gw tepati... ngga tega sama diri sendiri kayaknya gw bangun jem stg 6 saat hari masi gelap dan super dingin, lalu tepar sesudahnya dan ga bisa ngapa2in. capek. tapi, janji harus ditepati.

baru hari pertama dari minggu itu ada kabar yang bikin gw harus kerja lagi seminggu penuh minggu depannya. mao nangis rasanya cuman engga bisa. huhu. gw dihadapkan sama yang namanya hati, boss gw ga bisa balik k sini dulu soalnya anaknya positif flu babi, YA! kena swine fluuuuu dr sekolahnya!!! peginya k singapore lagi, pasti dikarantina lama. jadi secara moral dan hati, gw gak tega buat bilang engga. jadi ya, minggu depan gw kerja lagi.

tapi kan ya len, abis jem 2 kan elu bisa tidurrr laaaaa... who said that gw lempar bebek sini.. hahaha engga, gw masih ada urusan buat camp grj. dan lagi2, ini masalah hati juga. bedanya, yg bisa bikin gw tetep keep going on cuman 1 alesan, soalnya gw lakuin ini buat Tuhan. terlalu baek dia, gw kaga bs bilang engga. yang Dia lakuin buat gw uda terlalu banyak banyak banyak banget (:

itu doank? engga.
i promise nie2 to help her with the website buat tugasnya dia yang due senen ini. dan juga other little things yang gw bisa bantu. but again, gw janji, gw tepati. watever it takes.

tadi masih k berwick acara 1 bulanannya matthew djiauw (:
apa gw udah gila?



but despite all of those things, gw masih sehat2 aja. badan gw capek, orang2 sekeliling gw pada sakit. tapi gw seger2 aja. bukannya ini berarti Tuhan yang sustain gw?
mungkin gw emang gila, tapi gw tau Tuhan sayaaaaaaaang bgd ama gw <3

when the road is bumpy

and when no one seems to understand,

let me hold on You and pls dont let me go...

begho

lagi nunggu proses peng-uninstall-an adobe gw dan proses pen-download-an adobe trials...... padahal gw ingin bikin tugas...........

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 Truths about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, copy and paste this note, erase my answers and enter your own, tag people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: water
2. Last phone call: ajup
3. Last text message: msg dr elly
4. Last song you listened to: err dr komputer kakak
5. Last time you cried: err last last week?

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: no
7. Been cheated on: hmm no
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: no
10. Been depressed: doh iya
11. Been drunk and threw up: no

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. grey
13. white
14. red

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: yes
17. Laughed until you *nearly* cried: yes
18. Met someone who changed you: yes
19. Found out who your true friends were: yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you: yes
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: no
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: hmph hampir semua
23. How many kids do you want to have: 2-3
24. Do you have any pets: yes
25. Do you want to change your name: nah
26. What did you do for your last birthday: had lunch n dinner w friends
27. What time did you wake up today: 7
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: doing work
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: HOLIDAY
30. Last time you saw your Mother: last feb
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: nothing
32. What are you listening to right now: suara kulkas
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: betapa lamanya proses uninstall ini
35. Most visited webpage: rmit, fb, hotmail
36. Whats your real name: ellen grace
37. Nicknames: ame, L, nonong, elpple
38. Relationship Status: single
39. Zodiac sign?: cancer
40. Male or female?: f
41. Elementary?: petra 7
42. Middle School?: petra 3
43. High school/college?: petra 2 / rmit
44. Hair colour: black
45. Long or short: med
46. Height: 1.59 m

47. Do you have a crush on someone? wooo basi
48: What do you like about yourself? sok nyantai padahal hardcore haha
49. Piercings: none
50. Tattoos: none
51. Righty or lefty: righty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: hmm pas kepala bocor
53. First piercing: none
54. First best friend: lusiana
55. First sport you joined: lari hahaha
56. First vacation: bali
58. First pair of trainers: walah mana inget

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: nothing
60. Drinking: nothing
61. Doing: waiting
62. Listening to: kulkas
63. Waiting on: uninstalling process n donlooot

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids?: yes
65. Get Married?: yes
66. Career?: yes

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: eyes
68. Hugs or kisses: hugs
69. Shorter or taller: taller
70. Older or Younger: older
71. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: hihi nice arms
73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: bwgh

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: no
77. Drank hard liquor: yes
78. Lost glasses/contacts: no
79. Sex on first date: no
80. Broken someone's heart: yes
82. Been arrested: no
83. Turned someone down: yes
84. Cried when someone died: yes
85. Fallen for a friend?: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: kinda haha
87. Miracles: yes
88. Love at first sight: no, attraction at the first sight
89. Heaven: yes
90. Santa Claus: no
91. Kiss on the first date: no
92. Angels: yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: no
95. Did you sing today? no
96. Ever cheated on somebody? no
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? highschool times
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? nyeh i dono
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? no
100. Posting this as 100 truths? eh harus jujur ya?? hahah jk

this is one of the stupid things we always do.

im stressed. no, im exhausted.
i found this abit scary, finding myself being really blur, complaints and whining every 5 mins.
stop it ellen. stop.

you are doing the exact thing that light bulb doing.

so, here i am now.
i repent myself from my awful way of thinking.
i am sorry God :(
i shall believe Your grace is MORE than enough for me that You sustain my life, every single second. i choose not to stress abt this anymore.
HORRAY (:

meh

its not over yet.
yes, after having sleepless nights for a week, i found out today that studio isnt over yet. model's need to be redone and there will be a big presentation in the next 2 weeks. scared? yess, absolutely. everyone was sigh-ing all the time during the practice presentation + peer assessment. in could feel the tension in the room and we act like zombies.

freaking out? hmm not really. it is useless and going to take much of my time.


this is life eh? it is not always easy. u might say im exaggerating what i face in uni. but this is the truth. we re design students dont sleep much. caffeine is our friends and computer is our lovers.

.....
.....
.....



but hey, theres such thing called hope, right? (:

gila

i think im going crazy. after hating the non-existence of my 3d model in these past days *oh, past hours actually* i came up with new obsession to improve it. arghh. obsession eh? whats wrong with meeee.. im just going to add up more extra works for myself. aiming for HD? not really, i dont really care for the marks. i just want to do my best. its more like a personal satisfaction sort of thing. but please ellen, please, stop working that hard okay? promise. promise.

remember, life isnt only abt uni!!

nyeh

i tried to be a superhero for myself.
i failed.


i need God.

miaw

Tuhan ellen capek............. :''(



updated 17/05/09
Tuhan: "iya ellen, Aku tahu..."
ellen: "makasih Tuhan!" (:

photos by Sandy Edwards

im looking forward to

make some cute brooches with mayu later on holiday! yayy! :3


now, go and do your work.

makanya toh len..

after all of these tiring weeks........


i know what my problem is: my ego!

now im gonna put my head lower than before, to be humble, and more humble before You, God. You are my shield, my strength, my portion, deliverer (:

another little things

sun and coffee.

happy birthday pop!

love love love you MUCH! <3

hmmm

"While we look not a that things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal".
[2 Corinthians 4:18]

the scientist

my coldplay night. lol.

buntut2nya ya gini ini..

1am

i cant give You up.

You love me too much.

"life is about a choice"


its what ppl always say. there are consequences for things you do or you dont do. the world is watching over us for every single matter we do. and people judge, so do we. even when you dont say it out. thats when we started to fill up ppl's expectation by doing smth that is not ours.

what happen then if we live our life by our own way? our manners? our self expectations?

selfish much?


i have those things in my mind lately and been struggling alot by myself finding the answer. but then, it came to a simple conclusion:
"my life is no longer mine, but its also His.
its Him who live in me,
so id better live in His way which is the best for me,
and for others too"

name

ellen grace = anugerah cewe cantik yang bersinar2

*WOW*
keberatan nama saya......................


mari kita belajar macrame aja..

ngeluh

ga bisa konsen
sudah waktunya bikin tugas
kenapa libur cepet banget habis :(



*wake up len*

where are you

some love to share <3

i spent my whole afternoon sleeping today. my head was heavy. my nose didnt function properly. my throat felt so dried. and my eyes got watery very often.

okay. im sick.


despite of all of those things, in my time of solitude, i began to think about how we should live fully. i mean, hey, our Lord, Jesus Christ has paid the price for us, so we could get a new life, so why should we stay the same? i had a weird dream last night, i thought it was the time for His second coming. but, i cant remember it clearly. i woke up, opened my eyes, and i said to myself 'gosh, im still alive'. i dont know if im ready to face the end of the world. sounds abit scary eh?

so i came up to a conclusion, since i dont know until when i could live, or when the end of the world is, i just want to learn how to live faithfully in Christ. it isnt going to be easy. but its all about our choices. i cant imagine how my life would be if i never know Jesus in my life. i could be a cynical, very mean, 'berandal' little creature that you might want to 'incek2'.. *i have tendency for those things hahaha* i dont say that my life now is perfect tho. im still very dissapointing. i failed people for many many times. and especially to God as well, i hurt His heart much. but then, thank you again thank you for the cross, Lord. Youve died and rose again for us! and also to be mentioned, to those beautiful people i met in life, dear friends and family whom i always keep them close in heart.


love love for you all! (:
happy pass-over!

sick and happy

cuaca mendung, makan bubur ayam, flu = pas

ternyata gw jadi semakin sakit sejak kemaren, dimulai dengan makan mcd subuh2 d crown sehabis sebelumnya cuma tidur 3 jam, dan duduk d rumput kelamaan hari kamis. dohh len, tobat la..


tapi entah tetep senang dari kemaren (:



oh and again
happy birthday winishe!

%&%#&#%@

unsolved problems?

hang in there.
God is able (:

:)

there are too many things to be thanked for.

24/02/06

it was my first day in fa back then. i still remember that afternoon. it was in jess' place. those two cute cups? i got it from andy the day i first met him, he just had holiday in south korea, and he brought back some souvenirs. very nice lehh baru kenal uda dikasi oleh2.. hahaha..

okay, thats not my point. bwek.

i am thankful. i am thankful that my sis brought me to fa that day. i came with no expectation at all, yet to see myself here again that im still going every friday, im amazed. i dont know how this could happen to me, but im sure its just the way God works. veeeery mysterious and unique ;) well, to be honest, why was i going? i got nothing to do in friday night since i was a nubie in melbourne, not much friends, not much things to do. it was all fun to meet them. so i continually come everyweek.

it was all routine activity i thought. there were some certain occasion that made me unable to attend fa on time. i tried to leave my other things early. i dont know why. i still came even it was already 8. maybe i would feel lonely if i went home and not seeing my sister there, well during weekend at least you can do fun stuffs eh? alone? its not good at all.

until then i realised, that i got something from fa. not only new friends, but also learn what life is about from others, great great touching testimonies that shared humbly and honest, and the most important things: family and my acknowledgement in God. i started to learn more things: my faith is strengthen and built, my heart desires more to love and to care, for God and for my 'family.' the term 'family' itself defines different things, it can be my family by blood back there in
indo, but it also means its where God placed you. you meant to be there. you meant to be the part of that family. you meant to accept and love others just the way they are. and honestly, for me, it was not easy.

it does take time for me to value this little 'family' i have here. i found fa sometimes pretty boring, i fell asleep during prayer, had my mind in somewhere else during sharing, and was only excited during dinner time. bah. but, something in my heart kept telling me to come. afterwards i started to focus more in every fa. listen more, share more. and thank God, people there is very supportful and caring :') sometimes i kind of know that they are weary as well, but i didnt get it why they were still coming. i kept that in mind. so even when im tired, i came. i slept in fa several times: once i slept when we were praying and still sleeping after they finished, so they asked me to sleep in sofa instead and just being a sleeping presence in there. i slept during the sharing, i couldnt even read bible cause the texts are too small so they, once again dragged me to the sofa to sleep and woke me up with a bowl of mapo tofu and rice. i also slept on the carpet when they have 'fa gabungan' with other fa, and i didnt care because i was too tired. silly.

but God cares (:

He revealed many things to me. His greatness, His love, His providence. so, yes, i fell in love with where i am now. i believed that God has made a plan for me to stay in this fa and to know Him more through this little fellowship. i dont say that i got the perfect fa ever, no, were not. but its the perfect place God has provided me to be a part of it. and i know that i grow so much thru it. ive been really blessed (:

so, now, if you asked me, do you want to give up your friday night for other things?
i dont want. no. i dont. three four people, doesnt matter, i want to be fruitful for God through here. i love you all guys! mwah mwah! (:

ffffound

the cross

masih inget kan sama movie 'the passion of the christ' yang nyeritain perjalanan Tuhan Yesus d kayu salib.. merinding.. ga tega.. ga berani liat.. adalah reaksi2 saya waktu nonton. cuman saya mikirnya, iya sakitt bgt yah pasti digituin.. tanpa saya tau sakitnya gimana..

hari ini, saya melakukan tindakan bodoh:
motong cardboard pake penggaris plastik!

raaf baru dateng masuk k kelas sambil bawa sekardus cardboards, pva glue, kuas2, botol dan setumpuk plester. dia bilang 'in case we need it!' kita semua cuman ketawa kecil. 15 menit kemudian kita uda sibuk sama motong memotong cardboard. begitu juga saya. tebak apa yang terjadi tiba2, cutter kecil saya yang pada waktu itu saya teken kuat2 soalnya mo motong cardboard, nyelonong k jari dan kuku saya. 'ouch!' xisc langsung noleh dan bilang, 'buruan siram aer len' lalu saya lari2 k toilet luar.

dengan gaya nggak panik, saya teken2 jari dan darahnya biar mampet. ternyata, gak berenti2! masi belum panik saya siram air, tapi lho kok keran aer nya panas. akirnya lari2 k ruang dapur dan pake sink d sana. belom berenti darahnya. hmm. masi ga panik. rada segen gara2 darah saya berceceran d lantai toilet, ntar ada orang masuk mala dia panik. untung saya inget! raaf bawa plester. saya comot beberapa dan si raaf masi aja nawarin 'mau gua plesterin engga?' drpd dia shock liat jari berdarah2 saya bilang, engga. balik k toilet dan saya plester lah jari malang ini.

lanjut potong2 cardboard dan excursion serta ngafe kemudian. *gila ya ini orang*

pulang, saya rencana ganti plester dan kasi antiseptik. NAH ini baru, saya PANIK!
takut ntar kukunya ketarik sekalian, takut dagingnya ketarik dan lukanya tamba gede, takut sakit, takut infeksi, takut jarinya cacat. gila, parno.

setelah sesi gulung2 dan whining selesai, saya tiba2 kepikiran: gmn pas Tuhan Yesus disalib? oh goshh gak bisa bayangin sakitnyaaaa... muatenggg... ini baru jari ellen, baru jari.. klo sebadan? sekepala? bayangin aja uda takut. dan ini ellen, ini salah kamu. motong cardboard kok pake penggaris plastik? dan Tuhan Yesus, salah apa? engga salah apaa2.... justru salahnya kita Dia yang nanggung. jadi kitanya diampuni, bahkan dibebasin dr dosa. seGITU sayangnya Dia ama kita. seGIMANAkah kita sayangnya ama Dia?

bahkan mungkin luka jari yang sekecil ini ngga cukup ngampuni dosa saya yang kuecil. darah saya ngga seberharga darahnya Tuhan. sigh. saya jadi bener2 keinget, buat ngehargai salib itu sendiri, lebih dr pajangan2 salib yang ada, lebih dr gantungan bentuk salib yang ada, salib itu sendiri adalah bentuk cinta Tuhan sama kita. the greatest love, ever!!!


so, thank you Lord for the cross. really really, thank you! (:
ps. Tuhan minta bleedingnya berenti donk, sakitt huhu..

when will you laugh?

when there's something that is really really really reaaaally funny!

fact: 5 out of 9 ppl in carlton 4 are tone-deaf.
lovelies! :p

maaf saya gak gaul

pusing dan capek adalah kata2 yg tepat buat bbrp hari belakangan ini.

uni emang ga sesibuk semester kemaren, gw jalan ga sebanyak taon lalu, ngomel tidak sebanyak taon lalu, pergi tidak sesering dulu, shopping apalagi. dalem hati gw uda resolusi sama diri sendiri biar jadi orang yang lebih tau diri, lebih berpikir panjang gtu ceritanya.

hari2 berlalu cepet banget, kayaknya sehari itu cepet banget abisnya. tau2 uda siang tau2 uda sore, eh uda mo dinner, eh kudu hrs tidur lagi. tapi yang aneh gw rada2 kehilangan kemampuan gw begadang. jm 12 malem gw uda ko-it, capee bgt, dan jem 8 an besoknya gw udah bangun. LHO? gw kok normal?

uni tidak semenarik dulu, gw jadi rada ga minat ngerjain. yang bikin gw seneng palingan gw sekarang bisa knitting teknik dasar kayak emak2. yg lain? kurang bikin gw seneng. haishh. tapi tidak, gw belum nyerah. ini masih week 3, masih ada waktu. gw kangen sama comlab, sama workshop, sama prototyping.

.....


ah, masih banyak len,
tapi saya pumped up!
library labs projects here i comee :D

ini lagu gw uda tau dr jaman gw sd, dr buku nyanyian rohani pppk petra. tapi br tadi gw ngerti maksudnya...

I don't know about tomorrow
I just live from day to day
And I don't borrow from the sunshine
'Cause the skies might turn to gray.

And I don't worry about the future
'Cause I know what Jesus said
And today I'm gonna walk right beside him
'Cause he's the one who knows what is ahead.

There are things about tomorrow
That I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

And each step is getting brighter
As the golden stairs I climb
And every burden is getting lighter
And all the clouds, their silver line.

And, I'll bet the sun it's always shining
And no tears will ever dim the eye
And the ending of the rainbow
Where the mountains, they touch the sky.

There are many things about tomorrow
I don't seem to understand
But I know who holds tomorrow
And I know who holds my hand.

the greatest artist of all

i found this afternoon pretty chilly. i had work today and felt absolutely tired *mama minta pijiiiit* since my body hasnt become 'tahan banting' yet. i went to balcony, dragged three stools out, made a cup of nice hot tea then indulged myself watching the scenery of people walking and reading mx and again, knitting. nyaaaahh~

a bit later on, when the dawn came, the sky once again intrigued me. i simply love the color, how the sun light is reflected to clouds in its surroundings. and it is be-a-u-ti-ful! and a great thing about it is: this masterpiece of art is not kept in those museums and guarded by security but our Lord gives it to everyone of us, every-single-day, for FREE.

isnt He kind? (:

details in friendship

close friends are just irreplaceable.
thank God i have you as mine (:

ga jelas, but i like

ive been spending my night browsing old-indo-pop songs in youtube which i found them pretty relaxing. if you asked me what kind of music i like, i dont know. but at least i know im not into metal and trance. well, it may help to define me abit.


jadul, cute!

btw i got my part time job already! thank God! spreading my resumes ard city in the last 2 days, finally did something for me. im occupied. well, and this one was actually my last job a year ago. i texted my boss if she had any vacancy, then 10 mins later she called me and asked me to come next week. i quit my job early last year since uni's workload was extremely insane. but, now? i only have uni 8 hours per week! crazy eh?

not very excited for my studio tho. to begin is not easy. but it ll work somehow, i just need to put myself back into it. i ll go for library and labs tomorrow. yayy! nerding time! oh ellen dont forget to bring your knitting tools as well.

okay, plan tomorrow. i ll bake lemon-blueberry cupcakes early in morning, then uni, then i dont know, chilling time maybe; coffee and grass. im just hoping it ll rain in the morning and the sun ll come afterwards later on. boooo selfish.

interuption! sister, have i done any improvement in my writting skills? if not, i need to read one of your books, the one with fancy languange. sigh. im almost 22 and most of the time i just read poket gober bebek. retarded. gyaa. help.

i am lili.
lili is me.

*mulai sinting*


nah, im alright. i just cant wait to walk my journey this year with God. there must be smth greater. commitment, yes.




thank you Lord that i am what i am today,
may You always be my guide in life,
for i am nothing without You (:

mukya!

i love lights! hyahya

hidup jangan cengeng

people say, we always say, that life isnt easy.
it is true.

but, when it comes our turn to face those obstacles, what do we do?

my dad was very mad at me few days ago. he found me being irresponsible in doing things that im actually capable of. he said, i didnt think. me got angry as well. i thought he was being bossy and did not appreciate work ive done. i dont know what made me so blind to see, to understand, to accept. no no, i did not fight back. i just let myself be in tears. bah. why so weak???

things were too flat and i feel too pleasant. having my family around me these days. no assignments. no need to cook dishes *except for my dog*. all those things led me to lazyness. life seems plain easy.

i was trying to fix this 'whats wrong with myself' moment afterwards yet hadnt find the answer until yesterday. my dad said that he was really dissapointed. he knows that im good in handling stuffs he gave me yet i wasnt doing it seriously. i may look serious doing it but my heart was not into it. in a second, i totally got what he meant. and i trully trully felt ashamed with myself.

i was losing my fighting spirit. zero. or maybe minus one hundred.
gosh!

oh God, im so sorry.
please bring me back to You, dont leave me alone in this.



life isnt easy.
but in You, it must be beautiful indeed (:
and oh, yes, Rome 6. thank you!

i miss melbourne

yet i dont wanna leave my family here this sooner. HOW?

well, im tempted to do the 25 random things list..

1. i speak to my dog. i even share secrets to him.

2. i promised to myself that i will never ever eat frog again after i killed one and knew that its body contains lots of worms which wouldnt die through cooking process. eww.

3. i havent watch twilight until now and am not very keen to watch it. i think it is over-romantic.

4. i drink LOADS water.

5. i cant swim yet i dived once. i want to do it again if i had the chance.

6. im not scared of heights and found that my rooftop is a very nice place to chill.

7. im suck at chemistry. it doesnt make any sense to me.

8. my favourite dessert is mango pudding.

9. i dont do snack.

10. i drink up to 5 glasses of milk everyday but never get fat or taller from it.

11. im allergic to crab.

12. places i want to visit are: santorini and alaska, well maybe canada. i want to see aurora with my very own eyes. hahah.

13. my childhood dream was to open a ceramic shop!

14. i used to babysit my brother by playing him instrumental songs from keyboard.

15. but btw now i cant play neither piano or keyboard.

16. for me, family guy is very annoying. simpsons is better.

17. i dont like to watch long drama series. i cant wait to know the end.

18. i never cry in front of my friend. well, most of the time.

19. if i could swim i would like to be a marine scientist. lol.

20. i also considered myself being an astronaut.

21. spongebob and patrick. i choose patrick.

22. i dont read books. i skim pictures and notes.

23. trust me, im really ugly when im at home. i never comb my hair and always wear 'daster' hahaha kayak embok2.

24. my mum makes me clean up the glass-wall in bathroom after taking a shower. its a duty.

25. i love to see rain and thunderstorms. theyre amazing!

5

setelah trip singkat k jakarta-bandung
saya punya beberapa kesimpulan:
* mangga dua punya lingkaran setan d lantai 5
* sour sally itu enak!
* naek angkot d bandung bagaikan mengenang jaman naek antar jemput pas sma
* taxi d bandung sangat sedikit
* makanan d surabayaaa masih paling MANTEP!

joy!

"sbab hanya Tuhan yang membuat sukacitaku penuh..~"

gw tiba2 keinget lagu ini kemaren malem. gw baru nyadar gitu kemaren, gimana Tuhan bikin gw hepi terus. entah sejak kapan dan dari kapan gw jadi cengengesan terus *bukan gila maksudnya* tapi kayak ada apa2 gitu gw tetep merasa damai dan hepi2 aja. mungkin secara gw lg libur dan itu pengaruh banget, mungkin juga adek gw uda eneg liat gw cengengesan mulu d saat dia banyak ulangan. tapi dibilang gara2 libur engga juga, gw masi inget libur taun lalu gw ngerasa boseeeen banget d indo, terus clueless n jadi potato couch melulu, gak semangat dan super duper males. tapi entah gmn libur kali ini gw ngerasa seneng2 aja. gw ngerasa lebih deket ma bonyok jauh dari sebelomnya. apa gara2 gw uda ngerasa tua juga jadi gw ngerasa lebih ngertiin mereka ato emang gw nya jadi concern2 sendiri atas masalah2 yang mereka hadepin jadinya gw lebih memahami? gw gak tau.

masa libur yang biasanya seneng awal2 dan bosen belakangan gak berlaku buat gw taon ini. susah2 dan gloomy2 period nya di depan duluan, terakirnya mala santai2 dan hepi2 aja. namanya manusia goblok kadang bisa curiga2 sendiri klo banyak hal baik terjadi. kayak gw ini, gw ngerasa, bener nih Tuhan? ga ada berita buruk buat gw? gilaa yaaaa.. minta dihajar gw ini. ampuuuun. cuman kemaren gw merasa bener2 diingetin ama Tuhan klo gw itu blessed bangettt. Dia itu baik banget ama gw. kebiasaan manusia yang suka lupa ama Tuhannya pada masa2 kesukaan itu tampaknya juga berlaku buat gw. tapi gw gak mau lari jauh2. gw buru2 nyadarin diri gw, heyy ellen sadar loeee jangan enak2an sendiriiii! klo susah aja lo cari Tuhan klo senenk2 mah uda lupa. kasarannya sih gw bilang, engga tau diri.

dimulai dari kabar baek 1 ini, yg sama sekali gw gak sangka2. lampu gw, iya lampu project gw jaman bahula itu *semester lalu punya* shortlisted d salah 1 competition yg gw ikutin! sama sekali gak nyangkaaaaa.. apalagi sejak entry buat competition yg satu lagi uda ditolak. hahah. thank God! terus kemaren juga barusan di email juga ama pr dr company yg ngadain competition yg satunya *yg project gw uda ditolak* dianya imel minta gw hubungin dia. ??? well, i donno sih, tp gw expect nya kabar baeeek hahaha.

oh dan gw bakal punya hobi baruuuu. gw akan belajar crochet! semoga cukup waktu untuk bikin dan menyerap ilmu sebelom balik. hihi. gw jadi mikir nih, gw kangen melbourne ga sehh? mengingat d sana lagi kayak oven suasananya, but, aaaa i definitely miss bababudan's coffeeeee! abo lets go! ahhahaha

anyway, im off now, besok gw akan trip sama bokap k jkt-bdg yayyy! ga bs bangun gw ditinggal bisa gg ini.

btw, abo if u read this, parking lot nya kita uda km rent in belom? eman loh itu, lumayaaaan.



"dont ask for an easy life, ask for a meaningful one" (:

i introduce you my new friends

too cute to be true

arghhhhh lucunyaaaaa!!!!!!!!!
http://weheartit.com

11:47

saya ngaaaantoookk

dan masih online.


ill do a brief note for myself here. cuman kepikir aja tadi omongan papa waktu makan malem. memang tiap orang itu beda2 dan nggak sempurna. cuman ya emang itulah hidup. kita ngga bole ngerasa lebih baek daripada orang laen soalnya tiap orang punya cara beda dalem ngeliat sesuatu. dan klo taktambahin sendiri, artinya itu kita ngga boleh iri sama orang laen.

everyone deserves happiness.

rooftop

ada apa d atap rumahmu?




tau begini engga perlu ke rooftop jauh2, cukup d rumah sendiri, nyaaaa~


btw happy cny!

i just deleted an entire page of my writing.


see, im doing it again.
crap.

im trully my mum's daughter.

dont talk much so u wont get much trouble.

i do this all the time: i write a very long posting here, then i delete it before i save it.
because sometimes i think its too unnecessary or rude.
this is weird.



excuse my habit pls.
im a mystery.

hidup sehat

terlalu banyak postings bernuansa sentimentil akhir2 ini, saatnya ganti situasi.


besok jogging ato sepedaan ya?

gila gw seriously harus olahraga dan makan banyakan!

im staying at home

this summer is a superb family holiday for me! well, i like to do a list!
i thank God that:
- my dad spends most of his time working at home so i can always have lunch and dinner together
- my mum is reeeeally organised and 'tidak cerewet' :p
- my bro is growing up
- my sister got a casual job
- my dog is reaaally clever and sweeet
- my friends are so funny

that simple? yes! im happy and content (:
i dont want to take them all for granted, i do want to appreciate every single second i have with them. love what you got, not what others have.


rumput tetangga kadang keliatan lebih ijo, tapi gimana2 tetep enakan di rumah sendiriiii~~

the art of letting go

i even ever thought that id be better if you hurt me more so i can forget you.

ive been taking myself back and led my self into a self-pity-ness which i hate to do. but i guess i just have to let it go all now. such an interesting life yet im sure someday ill understand the meaning of all of these. ive tried and i dont think itll work, so i stop now. wish you a wonderful life ahead, dear friend.

thank you God for pulling me up!


and this sweet fruit pie for the loved ones! (:

devon