hidup jangan cengeng

people say, we always say, that life isnt easy.
it is true.

but, when it comes our turn to face those obstacles, what do we do?

my dad was very mad at me few days ago. he found me being irresponsible in doing things that im actually capable of. he said, i didnt think. me got angry as well. i thought he was being bossy and did not appreciate work ive done. i dont know what made me so blind to see, to understand, to accept. no no, i did not fight back. i just let myself be in tears. bah. why so weak???

things were too flat and i feel too pleasant. having my family around me these days. no assignments. no need to cook dishes *except for my dog*. all those things led me to lazyness. life seems plain easy.

i was trying to fix this 'whats wrong with myself' moment afterwards yet hadnt find the answer until yesterday. my dad said that he was really dissapointed. he knows that im good in handling stuffs he gave me yet i wasnt doing it seriously. i may look serious doing it but my heart was not into it. in a second, i totally got what he meant. and i trully trully felt ashamed with myself.

i was losing my fighting spirit. zero. or maybe minus one hundred.
gosh!

oh God, im so sorry.
please bring me back to You, dont leave me alone in this.



life isnt easy.
but in You, it must be beautiful indeed (:
and oh, yes, Rome 6. thank you!