buku ketelisut

the more i know You,
the more i know how vulnerable i am.
yet the more i know You,
the more i understand how i desperately need You in my life.
so that i can keep going on,
so that i can stand up when i fall,
so that i can overcome my fears.

just because You have loved me so much.

this morning, at 10.15, i woke up and thought. noooo its ten already. trust me i wake up early these days, 9.30 is the latest hahaaha. i was goin to run to uni to return some books and do some works for methods, then i realised that i couldnt find another 2 books i borrowed from the library and i couldnt remember where i put them. and theyre due today. so anyway, i didnt find them, i went to uni still, for returning some other books. i grabbed a computer and sat myself down. hmm okay, i do what now???? i couldnt think at all and, yes, my morning was ruined because i lost the books. sounded silly i know.

so then i went home, okay ellen you need to clear up your mind. and i began to do some cleaning in my super messy unit and............. found those books beneath a pile of dirty laundry.. stupid.

then i wonder why my heart is a very fragile thing. books can hurt me? whattt?
and beyond that incident i know i will still face another-ones. so i spoke to God, Lord really, i cant do this without You, i need You so that i can live joyfully, i can have peace in my heart, i wouldnt treasure artificial things so badly..

and yes, i also lost my jacket last sunday too. but anyway, it doesnt matter anymore. things in this world come and go so quickly, but i know what i am holding on to at the moment, i will have Him forever (: