i tend to use less time for people, more for myself, just because i think i deserve it after one long week of busy crazy work activities. or simply because i said i wanted to polish my skills even more and use my time as efficient as possible. comfort and convenience are the keys.
what may seem oh-so-harmless thoughts and perspective, could then lead me into a self-centred life, selfishly re-creating myself to be the coolest person i can be. no. i do not want that.
as time passes, i also picked up a hard truth that sometimes the most admirable people are not the ones with the brightest brains, nor the richest ones, nor the most populars; none of them.
i don't really understand the trend now (probably because of the age factor too), how every girl longs to be a fashion bloggers (no offence, i don't discredit you) though we girls love pretty things. we love pretty clothes and nice dresses, polished face and neat make up, to be able to pose oh so elegantly wrapped by those famous high-end brands. we love and adore beauty. but to be honest, i feel disturbed with this kind of trend..
we concern so much with what we have on the outside, we are obsessed by it. not only that, we are also obsessed with our brains, our smartness, our so limited thoughts on things. dressing well is sexy, being clever is sexy, confidence is sexy.. this is what the culture takes us nowadays. never once we thought about our soul?
this is one of my favourite verse from one of my favourite books in the bible..
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end".
"He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end".
Ecclesiastes 3:11
i did not understand the bold part before, but here it is. we are all human created by God, since we fell in to sin, there is this hole in our heart - longing for something more, for an eternity - that will never can be fulfilled or replaced by anything else in this world except God himself. this hole is here, to keep us clinging on to Him cause it will never be satisfied with anything else.
social media is crazy. i joked to ben and alice one day, telling them i should keep myself off from instagram so that i do not sin. my confession is that i stalked and judged a lot from it.
this jumbled up a little, my bad. the more i know the truth the more i became weirded out my many things in this world. the more i know the truth the more i know how messed up i am as everybody else in the world. not that i wanted to be a blogger too, or i envy those glittery things they have - no, but i do adore intelligence, i got intrigued by the smart chit chats just even to validate myself that i am coping up with them too, that i am one of them, that i am smart.
see how messed up i am?
bring me down on my knees again, Dear Daddy. help me to find that sanctuary in your presence and your presence alone. let me just look up to you alone Jesus, as the world keep dragging me weary, pulling myself to their wicked ways, daily! help me to cling on you. help me Holy Spirit to have a heart of repentance, daily, every single minute, teach me to have heart like Yours.
help me to understand the reality of your salvation - that You have truly redeemed me, all is done! and that You have loved me, even when i was still sinners. lead me to live in your path, may Your Words became the light that guide my steps. may You interfere and be involve in every single matter in my life. may i have an undivided heart to seek You and know Your truth, living it and practising it everyday of my life.
may you never stop in rebuking me in my wrong thoughts and flawed perspectives. may i have heart like Yours full of love, endless love, even for those i thought do not deserve. may You keep changing my life to be Christ-like, may it never end til the day i see you face to face.
