being small

i don't really like that sentence.

though i had it bothering my mind since the past months and even got it written down for a self-reminder.

think about those days, when you feel completely happy about yourself, almost proud - yet still aware that you shouldn't be too proud. when things went your way, or maybe not but you still got everything together. you are content. you feel superior. everything seems possible. sun shines on you as the main character, how delightful!

i had those days. i felt it all. but that was when i had those sentence popped in my head.

you are not that grand.

for one second i thought that i was god.

truth is, as everyone knows, i am not. instead, i am just a part of this massive universe. a little dot that is wandering on life venture on planet earth.

--

why me?
why not?

have been my favourite questions to God. i never quite understand why things happened in certain ways and why is it always something not so pleasant. as a little kid, we are always told for bright days to come, we dream high and we got our eyes to the skies. we believe in something good about to happen. however we all know when you hit, well, in your twenties and for some maybe earlier or later, that is not always the case. in fact, it is a true struggle for everyone of us to keep those perspective. we have been jotted down with unpleasant realities and limitations of things we want to do, things we dream of.

i made a joke to a friend the other day, that i would just bitterly laugh at my life at some point. that doesn't sound hopeful, does it? maybe instead of that, i would probably choose to laugh at my worry-ness upon many things. aha.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matt 6:34

as i should be..

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. Prov 31:25

so, maybe being small is what i need to learn. 

You save the humble, but your eyes are on the haughty to bring them low. 1 Sam 22:28