ok, there are couple of thoughts i have in my mind that i need to jot down as soon as possible before i forget them.
24 hour a day is enough for you. God gives us 24 hours per day, to work, to eat, to rest, to chill, to do what He wants us to do. what we don't realise is, sometimes we do too much of something God didn't ask us to do. Though it may not be completely wrong or unkind, but i came into a realisation, that me trying to smash together every single thing people ask me to do. that is no good.
i know this is not my first time dealing with such issue;
"i'm exhausted"
"i didn't have enough time"
"leave me alone"
"ok, fine then. i'd just secretly die"
"yeah, one hour won't hurt"
"poor her, i got to keep her a company"
no. ellen. you should stop.
you can't fit in everyone's request into your daily timetable every single time (plus you're not so good with time management). and it is ok to say no. it is ok to say that you need a rest too. you know that it will cost you your time especially with your closest people around. you don't want to do that.
true that sometimes, there is circumstance that makes it inevitable to say no and you got to make some adjustment or sacrifice. but hey, set your priorities first.
you can't help people if you're tired. you won't be able to minister if you are knackered. you will not do anything right if you are sleep deprived. you'd become angry, sensitive and burdened. you should know when you should stop and know where you draw your strength from.
i decided to come in early that morning, i wasn't quite sure what i was looking for. i just felt that something isn't too right with my heart. but i came anyway.
sang and sang. and how gracious and loving You are - You spoke to me and i listened.
"all fear removed
i breathe You in
i lean into Your love
oh Your love"
then i suddenly see, what i need despite all the mess and the busyness that haunt me the past few weeks, is just You love. knowing for certain, that You love me.
that's all i need.
that's where i draw my strength from.
classic; known; reminded once again.
thank You, Daddy.
