I was cleaning my white canvas shoes last weekend (for the third time already), when I got suddenly reminded that; my life is like a white shoes.
I am not the kind of person who has white white shoes. You know, they’ve been in trend in the last couple of years when people wear them to the malls. My white shoes never remain white for long. I either walk on their back soles, kicked something with them or simply having dirt and dust all around it. And I am not the one who clean them regularly.
So is my life. I know I am not the best one in getting my life organised, as much as I like to be in control of things like most people do, I always like the idea to improvise. Hence, my life is like my shoes.
I realised then, oh how I need God to cleanse my life constantly! It is true, when they say, once you got older, life is harder. It’s harder to stick with your idealism, your belief and your values. It’s harder to get your perspective aligned for quite a long time. It’s harder if you try to do it by yourself. And yea, self determination can only go that far.
I need God in my life. I need Him to get my views corrected, my mind untangled, my heart purified. And the more I know the truth, the more I realise how wicked sin is! How sneaky the devil is to push our eyes away from Him.
My white shoes came up quite clean, except on a few spots there are marks that can be washed away, due to: I left them dirty for too long. So yea, the white shoes imagery stuck in my head for couple of days already. Me, trying to figure out what it means.
Until today.
I have been coming to these prayer nights for few days already. Not knowing what to expect or pray, I just wanted to come. I feel I needed to come. So I tell mum, yea I am going to be out for prayers this whole week.
But I felt lazy today.
I laid myself on my bed after shower, it was already quarter to 7, 15 mins away before the prayer starts. I haven’t eat. I still need to drive to church which is 10 mins away from where I live. I dragged myself to come anyway.
I am glad I did come.
God spoke to me through the sharing given today (bless you Lev, you are gifted). Just a confirmation once again from the Lord, about the white shoes. I looked down and saw myself wearing my white shoes. Then suddenly the impression I have in mind came alive. And you know, being Christian, you might think this kind of epiphany sound so cliche. Yes it is cliche. But I believe it is how the Holy Spirit speaks to me, a whole new understanding and realisation of how messy my life is and how great my God is! I need this refreshment over and over again. So I pray that You may cleanse my heart once again, o Lord. And what’s great about God is, that no matter how long you have all those marks on those shoes, God is able to cleanse everything as they are new! Better than any detergen, baking sodas and hydrogen peroxide (think not about getting this stuff on to your hand). No. He wipes away our sin completely with His love. When we go down and pray and seek Him wholeheartedly, He will make Himself found. That is the heart of God for us. That is what He promises us.
So dear Daddy, thank you for the white clean shoes. Thank you for purifying my heart once again, making it new once again - so that I may live a life full of passion for You. Every day is a day with You Lord, every day you ignite Your passion in me.
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
-- Psalm 51:10
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws.
-- Jeremiah 36:26-27
