random thoughts

it is almost the end of june: days are cold. skies are dark most of the time. and the rain suddenly be one of melbourne friends. time does fly huh?

just got my brother here few days ago and i suddenly remembered the early days i spent here 5 years back. what sort of places i went, certain songs that remind me to certain friends, and heaps of stupidity i did back then. but things are not forever. things have changed, for the better and even for the best. this is the very recent example; last week was not easy. i was prepared to enjoy my long-awaited-holiday when the news came from my brother. my grandma passed away. i was okay in the first few days, until i could not take it anymore. i miss her. i was sad that i would not be able to see her for the last time. she did not make it that far. but somehow, i am also thankful. that she did not have to go thru many more pain, being helpless and sore. probably what bothered me the most is: i was worried about my parents.

during those time, do you know what was i thinking? i wanted to go shopping. clothes? yes, definitely! i really wanted to slap myself for this. i knew there is so much more important things rather than this superficial stuffs, but my flesh wanted it badly. the world offered me so much things, sale is everywhere. i can see they are all trying to grab myself into them, SO badly. thus i went for window shopping!

trust me, i went to almost every shops in the city. happy? nah. apparently, i am not. i apparently feel abit sick to go to those stores. thus i decided to spend my money on food instead, on pressies, on dia membership, on things more useful. it is not that easy to make a 'mature' decision eh? well i tried.

but you know, despite all of the things i want in this life, say it bluntly, those whole 'worldly stuffs' *i came into a realisation* means nothing if you have no someones. your family, your friends are the ones that make your life colourful. and cause you want yours to have meaning too, you need God; the author of our lives.

i dont know how can i be more thankful that 3 years ago, i had made the best decision of my life: to fully give my life following and serving the Lord Jesus Christ. i am not quite sure how it happened but, i cant deny His existence and love in my life. And since then, He began to reveal more and more of Himself and i believe it is the most precious thing all of us could ever have. the ultimate thing that will keep ourselves going on in this life.

wait, again i didnt say it is easy.
i am still learning too (:


pst, did i buy something for myself at the end?
yea, my 'cina blood' still couldnt resist that cheap dress with e decent quality.
ah dasar loe len.