where is ellen?

yes, where have i been?

eerr, no where actually. if you wonder what ive been doing lately, i would say that i ve been burning leather much, inhaled pretty much of that toxic solvent from the dye, got my right thumb burnt occasionally from the lighter and playing with paints and ink. not so healthy i know. so, if anyone of you have a backyard, please let me know *i ve also stolen my brother table for this, so, pardon me bro, im trying to make a living*

should i mentioned, i have been doing a part-time agent for tr application? three faithful clients kept calling me all the time. yes! including you van, BAYAR! hahaha

what else? despite the fact that my desk is still in total mess and i snoozed my alarm continuously an hour after i woke up, i dont have much thing to do; or too many things actually that make me losing focus. but for now, tr is done. and im still on the search of laser, schengen, sirius and tidyness.

oh ive been reading too, aha!
this is one of my new yr's resolutions. i promise myself to read more, ponder the words of God more since i know the older i am the harder it is gonna be to change myself. i hate reading, seriously. i even hate writing *used to* but i just hope that, more than information and knowledge i got from the books, God will reveal Himself more in me, because really, who else can i depend myself to?

each day trying, each day hoping to be better, yet at some point, i know frustration will kick in and push me down. and worst part is, sometimes this heart cannot contain it. and then, cape to the core, depresi, whatever you call it. that is why, i want to put my priority right. i want to put Him first eventho i dont know how, i want that revelation about how great His love is, i just want a drop, it would show me enough. so that i will understand the true meaning of salvation, of His grace. and i am simply grateful that He still gives me the faith, to carry on, to carry on..