people say, we always say, that life isnt easy.
it is true.
but, when it comes our turn to face those obstacles, what do we do?
my dad was very mad at me few days ago. he found me being irresponsible in doing things that im actually capable of. he said, i didnt think. me got angry as well. i thought he was being bossy and did not appreciate work ive done. i dont know what made me so blind to see, to understand, to accept. no no, i did not fight back. i just let myself be in tears. bah. why so weak???
things were too flat and i feel too pleasant. having my family around me these days. no assignments. no need to cook dishes *except for my dog*. all those things led me to lazyness. life seems plain easy.
i was trying to fix this 'whats wrong with myself' moment afterwards yet hadnt find the answer until yesterday. my dad said that he was really dissapointed. he knows that im good in handling stuffs he gave me yet i wasnt doing it seriously. i may look serious doing it but my heart was not into it. in a second, i totally got what he meant. and i trully trully felt ashamed with myself.
i was losing my fighting spirit. zero. or maybe minus one hundred.
gosh!
oh God, im so sorry.
please bring me back to You, dont leave me alone in this.
life isnt easy.
but in You, it must be beautiful indeed (:
and oh, yes, Rome 6. thank you!
Friday, February 20, 2009
Friday, February 13, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
well, im tempted to do the 25 random things list..
1. i speak to my dog. i even share secrets to him.
2. i promised to myself that i will never ever eat frog again after i killed one and knew that its body contains lots of worms which wouldnt die through cooking process. eww.
3. i havent watch twilight until now and am not very keen to watch it. i think it is over-romantic.
4. i drink LOADS water.
5. i cant swim yet i dived once. i want to do it again if i had the chance.
6. im not scared of heights and found that my rooftop is a very nice place to chill.
7. im suck at chemistry. it doesnt make any sense to me.
8. my favourite dessert is mango pudding.
9. i dont do snack.
10. i drink up to 5 glasses of milk everyday but never get fat or taller from it.
11. im allergic to crab.
12. places i want to visit are: santorini and alaska, well maybe canada. i want to see aurora with my very own eyes. hahah.
13. my childhood dream was to open a ceramic shop!
14. i used to babysit my brother by playing him instrumental songs from keyboard.
15. but btw now i cant play neither piano or keyboard.
16. for me, family guy is very annoying. simpsons is better.
17. i dont like to watch long drama series. i cant wait to know the end.
18. i never cry in front of my friend. well, most of the time.
19. if i could swim i would like to be a marine scientist. lol.
20. i also considered myself being an astronaut.
21. spongebob and patrick. i choose patrick.
22. i dont read books. i skim pictures and notes.
23. trust me, im really ugly when im at home. i never comb my hair and always wear 'daster' hahaha kayak embok2.
24. my mum makes me clean up the glass-wall in bathroom after taking a shower. its a duty.
25. i love to see rain and thunderstorms. theyre amazing!
1. i speak to my dog. i even share secrets to him.
2. i promised to myself that i will never ever eat frog again after i killed one and knew that its body contains lots of worms which wouldnt die through cooking process. eww.
3. i havent watch twilight until now and am not very keen to watch it. i think it is over-romantic.
4. i drink LOADS water.
5. i cant swim yet i dived once. i want to do it again if i had the chance.
6. im not scared of heights and found that my rooftop is a very nice place to chill.
7. im suck at chemistry. it doesnt make any sense to me.
8. my favourite dessert is mango pudding.
9. i dont do snack.
10. i drink up to 5 glasses of milk everyday but never get fat or taller from it.
11. im allergic to crab.
12. places i want to visit are: santorini and alaska, well maybe canada. i want to see aurora with my very own eyes. hahah.
13. my childhood dream was to open a ceramic shop!
14. i used to babysit my brother by playing him instrumental songs from keyboard.
15. but btw now i cant play neither piano or keyboard.
16. for me, family guy is very annoying. simpsons is better.
17. i dont like to watch long drama series. i cant wait to know the end.
18. i never cry in front of my friend. well, most of the time.
19. if i could swim i would like to be a marine scientist. lol.
20. i also considered myself being an astronaut.
21. spongebob and patrick. i choose patrick.
22. i dont read books. i skim pictures and notes.
23. trust me, im really ugly when im at home. i never comb my hair and always wear 'daster' hahaha kayak embok2.
24. my mum makes me clean up the glass-wall in bathroom after taking a shower. its a duty.
25. i love to see rain and thunderstorms. theyre amazing!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
5
setelah trip singkat k jakarta-bandung
saya punya beberapa kesimpulan:
* mangga dua punya lingkaran setan d lantai 5
* sour sally itu enak!
* naek angkot d bandung bagaikan mengenang jaman naek antar jemput pas sma
* taxi d bandung sangat sedikit
* makanan d surabayaaa masih paling MANTEP!
saya punya beberapa kesimpulan:
* mangga dua punya lingkaran setan d lantai 5
* sour sally itu enak!
* naek angkot d bandung bagaikan mengenang jaman naek antar jemput pas sma
* taxi d bandung sangat sedikit
* makanan d surabayaaa masih paling MANTEP!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
joy!
"sbab hanya Tuhan yang membuat sukacitaku penuh..~"
gw tiba2 keinget lagu ini kemaren malem. gw baru nyadar gitu kemaren, gimana Tuhan bikin gw hepi terus. entah sejak kapan dan dari kapan gw jadi cengengesan terus *bukan gila maksudnya* tapi kayak ada apa2 gitu gw tetep merasa damai dan hepi2 aja. mungkin secara gw lg libur dan itu pengaruh banget, mungkin juga adek gw uda eneg liat gw cengengesan mulu d saat dia banyak ulangan. tapi dibilang gara2 libur engga juga, gw masi inget libur taun lalu gw ngerasa boseeeen banget d indo, terus clueless n jadi potato couch melulu, gak semangat dan super duper males. tapi entah gmn libur kali ini gw ngerasa seneng2 aja. gw ngerasa lebih deket ma bonyok jauh dari sebelomnya. apa gara2 gw uda ngerasa tua juga jadi gw ngerasa lebih ngertiin mereka ato emang gw nya jadi concern2 sendiri atas masalah2 yang mereka hadepin jadinya gw lebih memahami? gw gak tau.
masa libur yang biasanya seneng awal2 dan bosen belakangan gak berlaku buat gw taon ini. susah2 dan gloomy2 period nya di depan duluan, terakirnya mala santai2 dan hepi2 aja. namanya manusia goblok kadang bisa curiga2 sendiri klo banyak hal baik terjadi. kayak gw ini, gw ngerasa, bener nih Tuhan? ga ada berita buruk buat gw? gilaa yaaaa.. minta dihajar gw ini. ampuuuun. cuman kemaren gw merasa bener2 diingetin ama Tuhan klo gw itu blessed bangettt. Dia itu baik banget ama gw. kebiasaan manusia yang suka lupa ama Tuhannya pada masa2 kesukaan itu tampaknya juga berlaku buat gw. tapi gw gak mau lari jauh2. gw buru2 nyadarin diri gw, heyy ellen sadar loeee jangan enak2an sendiriiii! klo susah aja lo cari Tuhan klo senenk2 mah uda lupa. kasarannya sih gw bilang, engga tau diri.
dimulai dari kabar baek 1 ini, yg sama sekali gw gak sangka2. lampu gw, iya lampu project gw jaman bahula itu *semester lalu punya* shortlisted d salah 1 competition yg gw ikutin! sama sekali gak nyangkaaaaa.. apalagi sejak entry buat competition yg satu lagi uda ditolak. hahah. thank God! terus kemaren juga barusan di email juga ama pr dr company yg ngadain competition yg satunya *yg project gw uda ditolak* dianya imel minta gw hubungin dia. ??? well, i donno sih, tp gw expect nya kabar baeeek hahaha.
oh dan gw bakal punya hobi baruuuu. gw akan belajar crochet! semoga cukup waktu untuk bikin dan menyerap ilmu sebelom balik. hihi. gw jadi mikir nih, gw kangen melbourne ga sehh? mengingat d sana lagi kayak oven suasananya, but, aaaa i definitely miss bababudan's coffeeeee! abo lets go! ahhahaha
anyway, im off now, besok gw akan trip sama bokap k jkt-bdg yayyy! ga bs bangun gw ditinggal bisa gg ini.
btw, abo if u read this, parking lot nya kita uda km rent in belom? eman loh itu, lumayaaaan.
"dont ask for an easy life, ask for a meaningful one" (:
gw tiba2 keinget lagu ini kemaren malem. gw baru nyadar gitu kemaren, gimana Tuhan bikin gw hepi terus. entah sejak kapan dan dari kapan gw jadi cengengesan terus *bukan gila maksudnya* tapi kayak ada apa2 gitu gw tetep merasa damai dan hepi2 aja. mungkin secara gw lg libur dan itu pengaruh banget, mungkin juga adek gw uda eneg liat gw cengengesan mulu d saat dia banyak ulangan. tapi dibilang gara2 libur engga juga, gw masi inget libur taun lalu gw ngerasa boseeeen banget d indo, terus clueless n jadi potato couch melulu, gak semangat dan super duper males. tapi entah gmn libur kali ini gw ngerasa seneng2 aja. gw ngerasa lebih deket ma bonyok jauh dari sebelomnya. apa gara2 gw uda ngerasa tua juga jadi gw ngerasa lebih ngertiin mereka ato emang gw nya jadi concern2 sendiri atas masalah2 yang mereka hadepin jadinya gw lebih memahami? gw gak tau.
masa libur yang biasanya seneng awal2 dan bosen belakangan gak berlaku buat gw taon ini. susah2 dan gloomy2 period nya di depan duluan, terakirnya mala santai2 dan hepi2 aja. namanya manusia goblok kadang bisa curiga2 sendiri klo banyak hal baik terjadi. kayak gw ini, gw ngerasa, bener nih Tuhan? ga ada berita buruk buat gw? gilaa yaaaa.. minta dihajar gw ini. ampuuuun. cuman kemaren gw merasa bener2 diingetin ama Tuhan klo gw itu blessed bangettt. Dia itu baik banget ama gw. kebiasaan manusia yang suka lupa ama Tuhannya pada masa2 kesukaan itu tampaknya juga berlaku buat gw. tapi gw gak mau lari jauh2. gw buru2 nyadarin diri gw, heyy ellen sadar loeee jangan enak2an sendiriiii! klo susah aja lo cari Tuhan klo senenk2 mah uda lupa. kasarannya sih gw bilang, engga tau diri.
dimulai dari kabar baek 1 ini, yg sama sekali gw gak sangka2. lampu gw, iya lampu project gw jaman bahula itu *semester lalu punya* shortlisted d salah 1 competition yg gw ikutin! sama sekali gak nyangkaaaaa.. apalagi sejak entry buat competition yg satu lagi uda ditolak. hahah. thank God! terus kemaren juga barusan di email juga ama pr dr company yg ngadain competition yg satunya *yg project gw uda ditolak* dianya imel minta gw hubungin dia. ??? well, i donno sih, tp gw expect nya kabar baeeek hahaha.
oh dan gw bakal punya hobi baruuuu. gw akan belajar crochet! semoga cukup waktu untuk bikin dan menyerap ilmu sebelom balik. hihi. gw jadi mikir nih, gw kangen melbourne ga sehh? mengingat d sana lagi kayak oven suasananya, but, aaaa i definitely miss bababudan's coffeeeee! abo lets go! ahhahaha
anyway, im off now, besok gw akan trip sama bokap k jkt-bdg yayyy! ga bs bangun gw ditinggal bisa gg ini.
btw, abo if u read this, parking lot nya kita uda km rent in belom? eman loh itu, lumayaaaan.
"dont ask for an easy life, ask for a meaningful one" (:
Monday, February 2, 2009
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