bukan ellen

i always said that, yes we do have choices.
and for me, i choose not to do this and that.

then i feel good.
is that all, ellen?
so you re not-that-bad person?


i thank God for the reminder today. every little good things ive done and about to do -- isnt actually from me. it is the Holy Spirit that speaks to my heart, tells me to do so. i was so over-whelmed when He opened up this whole new thing to me. i thought, i wasnt a bad person at all, i am good because i am still going to the church, doing ministry there and also in fa. but, doesnt it mean that i measure my goodness based on my work??? this is so wrong.

God loved me first. there is nothing i can do to love Him back as much as He does to me. thats why it is called grace. we dont deserve it yet we get it for free because God loves us so much. im looking at myself and i began to realise that i will never be perfect. my goodness isnt good enough :x

thus, i really really grateful to know that it is not me who's doing good in my life, yet it is God Himself working on greater things to be happened in me! i have no idea to explain any of these clearer. but it is such a joy to know that He lives in me who is no one and loves me so much that He gave me the best thing i could ever receive in life- the salvation. My Lord, My Savior Jesus Christ (: