nyeh

"you do have a choice".

i cant believe im doin this to myself.
it suppose to be my holiday :'(

semangat dimana kamuuu?

beberapa hari dalam satu bulan, oke mungkin beberapa bulan, selalu ada saat dimana badan jasmani gw ini literally lemes dan lengket sama sofa/kasur. hal yang sebenernya gw sendiri ngga mau lakuin, soalnya pasti nyokap uda teriak k gw buat jangan males2an tapi beneran ma, aku 'mbelenyek'...

gimana cara balikin semangat gw nah itu gw sendiri juga kurang tau. apa dengan bersenang2 satu hari besoknya gw pasti uda seger jasmani dan rohani? nggak juga. gw uda experimen sama cara itu tapi nggak berguna. terus gw tiba2 jadi keinget ini frase yg kayaknya terngiang-ngiang di otak gw akir taon lalu: 'take time'.

gw rasa itu bisa berguna. tiap orang pasti pernah kan kayak sibuk banget gitu, dari pagi uda gini gitu, siang ngurusin itu, makan aja sampe telat2 ato ga sambil jalan, terus sore janji sama orang malem masi ngafe ama temen, pulang masi onlen sampe subuh. capek gak seh. dan emang bener kadang2 situasi kayak gitu ngga bisa gw hindarin sendiri, cuman kayaknya ini saatnya buat ngubah pola hidup gw yg tidak sehat.

i have to: take time for everything.

jam makan ya uda makan doang. kerja ya kerja ngga boleh nyambi facebookan, kalo janji diri sendiri mau break dulu ya break aja. kalo ketemu temen ya plis deh jangan autis2an di bb wong ada manusia hidup dihadapan. kalo tidur ya uda tidur otak itu dikosongin jangan mikir sana sini ngga jelas *ini yg gw sulit*. kalo belajar yah belajar sungguh2. kalo giliran orang ngomong ya dengerin baek2. kalo berdoa sebelom makan ya berdoa jangan keburu megang sendok isi nasi.
dan masih banyak lagi.


susah sekali :|

tapi ya itu, kayaknya bener juga sih. gw harus ambil waktu juga buat merenungi hidup ini, memikirkan masa depan, dan mendengar kata Tuhan dalam hati (;

butuh waktu

butuh sabar buat nunggu poni gonggong gw tumbuh kembali.
ugh.

*orang yang selalu menyesal sehabis potong rambut*

noo noo boo

it is time to take more photos.

post 201

i know who matters the most for me (;
dad, mum, sister, brother, devon.

you're all inspired me.

this is how i started 2010

to be exact:
i was playing this old-playstation-one-game, called poy poy, with mum, sis and brother while dad was playing ard with his iphone *i know he will never get over it*

it was fun, abit too much maybe, we ignored the fireworks in the first few minutes of 2010 until they re getting crazier and we decided to take a look outside. not so impressive, but well, what beats the fact that we re all at home together?

--

i felt this holiday is abit different with the ones before. i promised myself that ill be a good daughter *aaat leasstt thiss holiddaayy* which i found it is a very difficult job to do. i still sleep late, i woke up late too. i didnt do breakfast, thats why i always have stomachache after lunch. i cant work so fast, i sleep on the sofa too much. ugh.

i expect my dad and mum will yell at me. yes they do. they ll complain. yes they do.
but the weirdest thing, i just found out that they are all come with acceptance. im not a perfect daughter anyway, and cause they are my parents, they could accept me the way i am. and i know that it is such a privilege to have them in my life (:

so yes. i wont complain.

--

^{Psalm 86
11} Teach me your way, O LORD,
and I will walk in your truth;
give me an undivided heart,
that I may fear your name.

¹² I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart;
I will glorify your name forever.

¹³ For great is your love toward me;
you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.

--

Dear God,

please show me the paths You want me to follow,
for I am a very fragile being.
set my feet upon the rock,
so that nothing could drag me away from You.
draw my heart close to Yours,
cause I want to keep You in life forever.
amen!

--

ps. i know its abit 'rancu' post to start the year, maklum sudah lama kurang menulis dan merenung *makan melulu sih :|