oh hey, hello

leave to God what is beyond your hands.

let go on things that you can't get hold of anymore.

use your talents fully as He gave you those with purpose.

be kind, always thinks such lovely things.

take risk, yolo, really ellen, just YOLO for once.

always brings everything into prayers; prayer is the breath of your spiritual life.

read more, put your phone down - it has to last til the iphone 7s series comes out.

work hard, work smart, have fun!

and be that person that people took note, "she has been with Jesus"

--

unending faithfulness

day by day
i walk my tiny feet around this globe
not too far, not too strong

i stumble, i fell
and sometimes i just don't know what to do
i could have cried but i chose to laugh instead
for my ways are silly

but Daddy, never once you look away from me
you keep watching over me
when i sleep, when i am awake
my thoughts, you know them all

get lost, my heart!
let go and put it down in God's gracious love
get it washed away
get it clean again

when i am weak, You are strong
when i am poor, You are rich
let only praises for You came out from my mouth
let me sing Your goodness always
because You are God, because You deserve it

You are all i want.
i love You, Daddy.

It's been very overwhelming for me. and to be honest I am not sure if anyone felt the same way about this. But I am truly thankful that the little voice of Yours, still speaks inside of me. You are here. We are in this together.


And for that I thank You.

--


My heart a storm, clouds raging deep within
The Prince of peace came bursting through the wind
The violent sky held its breath
And in Your light I found rest

Tearing through the night
Riding on the storm
Staring down the fight
My eyes found Yours

Shining like the sun
Striding through my fear
The Prince of peace
Met me there
You heard my prayer

Hope like the sun, light piercing through the dark
The Prince of peace came and broke into my heart
The violent cross, the empty grave
And in Your light I found grace

Tearing through the night
Riding on the storm
Staring down the fight
My eyes found Yours

Shining like the sun
Striding through my fear
The Prince of peace
Met me there
You're always there
And You hear my prayer

Your love surrounds me
When my thoughts wage war
When night screams terror
There Your voice will roar
Come death or shadow
God I know Your light will meet me there

When fear comes knocking
There You'll be my guard
When day breeds trouble
There You'll hold my heart
Come storm or battle
God I know Your peace will meet me there
(Again and again)

Oh, be still my heart
I know that You are God
Oh fear no evil
For I know You are here

And my soul will know Your love surrounds me
When my thoughts wage war
When night screams terror
There Your voice will roar
Come death or shadow
God I know Your light will meet me there
And my soul will know

When fear comes knocking
There You'll be my guard
When day breeds trouble
There You'll hold my heart
Come storm or battle
God I know Your peace will meet me there

Oh, be still my heart
And my soul will ever know that You are God
And You heard my prayer

what the sun tells me about

i like taking pictures of the sky.
it was my favourite past time.

i love sunsets. i enjoy looking at the sky paints it thousand pictures every minute. i love it when the sun rays, as it goes down, reflecting its light among the clouds around it. or maybe sometimes, it just reflects to the sky itself. it creates a warm yellow, sometimes orange-ish colour, sometimes light pink - that blends so beautifully with the ultramarine blue sky.

and just after this past year after i commit myself waking up early(-er), i start to notice sunrise as well. lucky me i live in a house heading to the east, and my room has a huge window that heads east too. i like the warmth of the sun rays in the morning. it has a kind of soft orange colour, it looks very bright yet calming at the same time.

i do enjoy its beauty.

but there was this one time, few weeks ago.. i was driving alone during twilight, well, not quite yet.. and as usual i look at the sky. it was so beautiful, it was pink, blue, yellow and orange all at once. all colours seem to synchronise together so harmoniously. it struck me -- to me it was God cheering me up! i was just suddenly stunned to think that, how if God gives us sunset to cheer us up after a long day at work and sunrise to greet us in the morning? and He gives it for everyone to see!

having to see the sun itself already means it is a new day. a new blessing from Him that we are still breathing. and to paint the sky so beautifully? it is His gift for us!

The heavens declare the glory of God;

the skies proclaim the work of his hands.

Day after day they pour forth speech;

night after night they reveal knowledge.

They have no speech, they use no words;

no sound is heard from them.

Yet their voice goes out into all the earth,

their words to the ends of the world.

In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun.

It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber,

like a champion rejoicing to run his course.

It rises at one end of the heavens

and makes its circuit to the other;

nothing is deprived of its warmth.

great is Your faithfulness oh Lord!

love

What is love?

Many always see it as an idea of romantic relationship. A flower, a gift, a selfie together, declares love’s grandeur concept. It is true that loving feelings are a gift indeed. You don’t always experience that with everyone, it takes someone special, some one who means a lot to you. It is something that takes time to grow and flourish.

I, have ever seriously questioning the meaning of love, few years back. I was both confused and curious on how the concept of love is translated. Not that I have an unhappy childhood or bad experience in love (well, not to that point). But I asked myself whether love has more meanings than that.

Yes, that.

When someone holds your hand.

Late night conversations.

Exchanging gifts.

--

Love starts by giving. And it stops when nothing more is received.

I ended up with that conclusion at first. I may seem to overthink this matter so much, hey? Don’t we all though, have ever think about it too?

I do not know since when, I realized that my faith means so much for me. Why does it always have to go back to this, you may ask. Cause it was all begin from it. Faith took me here. When life has take over, I begin to truly understand why I need Jesus in my life.

There’s always going to be this void inside all of us. You know, the drive for something. The desire. We have all fallen, and we know that we are not perfect. And we want that ‘cushion’ that bit where we can lay our head to, that voice that tells us everything is going to be OKAY.

Love gives us that.

--

God is love, but don’t make love as your god.

It’s Valentine today. Everyone seems to be a bit cheery, maybe because of the chocolates, or simply because we singles don’t want to look too pathetic today. We still got it.  We are fine, world.

I am though, grateful.  I know the Lord loves me, as He has given himself for me. A true meaning of love itself – when somebody laid down his life for you.

I am amazed. How He would even care for to know my desires. That He won’t laugh at my dreams. That He still gives me the miracle of life every morning when I open my eyes.

I feel safe – knowing that He is mighty. That He is God who can do the impossible, until this day. That He is a God who still answers prayers and care for your matters.

I am glad. That He is faithful, even when I am not. That He is steadfast and constant in my life.

He is Saviour, He is my rock.

He is Jesus and He is love.

faith

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.
Hebrew 11:1

Sounds familiar? Yeah I heard it since sunday school time and it has never rang this loud until yesterday.

What differs us from others by being Christian?

We have the same problems, we struggle over similar matters, we want the same things as most people do and we are as messed up as everyone. I have currently experience the same thing. I freaked out every time I look at my calendar. Indeed, time waits for no one. We are always too busy doing things, and think that a day needs more hours as well as our weeks, our months, our years. But hey, who are we thinking we can control the time?

I recently checked my whatsapp as well, last late night convos with a friend doesn't sound too hopeful either. I skimmed through things I said, and laughed at it. Silly.

Problems are real, bad days are not a myth, and some cray cray situations making me a-not-so-decent human being. Ugh.

But somehow, some way, in this desperate situation where I wished things would change and miracles would just happen; I still hear a little voice inside my heart saying, "have faith". Have that little faith, as tiny as that mustard seed, when you have it, you can move mountains. You just have to believe.

When we rely much on our confidence in ourselves, we would always get disappointed. No one could ever give us assurance in this ever-moving life. And on the first verse of Hebrew 11, this was described clearly.

FAITH is the CONFIDENCE in what we HOPE for and ASSURANCE about what we DO NOT SEE.

and it goes on..

verse 6:

"And WITHOUT FAITH it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must BELIEVE that He EXISTS and that He REWARDS those who EARNESTLY SEEK Him"

 Shouldn't you ever know this truth len?

Yes, I do. But really, who are we without Holy Spirit. I would never realised this much sooner without Him bugging myself to open the bible. I would not be able to write this if He's not the one who gave me the revelation. I would not then believe this truth if He did not put this conviction in my heart!

Really, oh Father, swipe me once again in Your love, for you are gracious and loving. And you will never leave me when I drifted away. You are faithful even when I am not faithful. You believe in me even when I don't believe in You.

Thank You Jesus, Thank You Holy Spirit, to reveal this gem to me once again. To put faith into my heart, so I may fully trust in You. May I live a life that honours You and pleases You. May everything I do reflects Your love to us all.

Only to You, be the glory.

x

begin again

ok, let's just admit it. it's one of those days - i feel crap and i have an off perspective on everything. rather than joining the parade of positive new year captions on instagram, i found my whole being is just under the weather, mentally, physically, spiritually.

i have so many unanswered questions in my head, though as mum said, "you don't have to know everything". and i get that, but sometimes i just want things right here right now, my way my want. i came back to being age 5.

i hope you don't lecture me on this, i know. i know it's wrong and i already know what i am supposed to do. i need to take a deep breath, kneel down and surrender it all to the one and only; my Jesus, my God my Saviour.

dear Daddy, so that, for now, let me just rest in your arms; knowing that it all would be alright, and i truly know that i am deeply loved. and in time, i will have that strength to begin again. to stand up again, to give all i am to your perfect plans.

in your perfect time, through your perfect hand.

ps. future me, i just want you to be able to remember this day. and see, see how God always comes through for He is able and He only gives the best for you.

x